To The Person Who Loves Being Alone

I love being alone. I love my friends, socializing and going out as well, but I love being alone. Many people assume that when I cancel plans last minute or don’t return texts quickly, I am just ignoring them. They take it the wrong way and grow frustrated. Personally, I just love taking time for myself and relaxing.

I am very much outgoing, but there is another side of me that prefers to be by myself. I have such a hectic life, that when I get a couple minutes I would much rather take a minute for myself. People have the impression that being alone is a bad thing (unwanted or reclusive). It’s not. It’s not as if I go all Tom Hanks from Castaways and my only friend is a Wilson volleyball. All I am trying to say and put into the right words is that you find joy in being alone and that joy helps you grow as a person.

When you’re surrounded by a lot of people, you do not realize how much energy you are actually exerting. Everyone laughing, smiling, conversation, reading emotions, and being aware of surroundings. Numerous jobs that keep the nervous system on the go. It can be mentally draining being surrounded constantly and being connected. A little time away from them can refuel you and give you the break from being social.

When you begin to enjoy being alone, you will create and gain a greater perspective for your own emotions. Being surrounded by everyone you love is amazing, but exhausting when trying to read their emotions whether you know it or not. You can create a deep understanding for what truly makes you happy, what frustrates you, and what makes you feel melancholy. To regulate this, it begins with self understanding which comes from solitude.

Group plans. Are we heading to the bar? Where is the pregame? Are we staying in? What’s the plan? The effort that is put into always making compromises to find solutions that the entire group of friends can all enjoy is exhausting. More often than not, the ideas you have are not always what the rest of the group has in mind. So, it’s much easier to be alone. Once you realize doing that, it gives you freedom to do the things you want to do.

Time spent alone can the most productive time in your life. Mostly because there are fewer distractions, and you can just put your head down and get to work.

One of the most important qualities I’ve learned from being alone is that it is not necessary to look for validation. We often feel the need to get the green light or ok from our friends and family before we do something. Of course it is completely understandable on certain occasions to ask advice, but it is not always necessary. You can be completely capable of your own actions and acting on your own instead of always looking for someone for an answer. You learn to trust your instincts and make decisions for yourself without a validation from someone.

Your independences soars. When you find enjoyment in being alone, you’ll gain confidence in your ability to actually be alone. That naturally leads to feeling independent. There is no longer the weight of anxiety, or desire for company. You won’t feel the need for constant interaction with other people or the anxiety that can be associated with looking around and seeing no one but yourself.

It is freeing. I love getting up in the morning, going for a run and not being held back with obligations or prior commitments. I’ll go out to breakfast at a diner, sit at the counter and talk to the waitress or the people beside me. It is so interesting how much you learn from different people and simplistic conversation. It’s not all small talk (this is proof that a volleyball named Wilson is not my only friend).

I love taking drives along the coast, or up to the mountains. I love days spent at the beach alone and cooking an amazing meal for myself. I do extend an invitation if people want to tag along. Although, there are days in which it is best to go off on my own and enjoy the day without the worry of making sure someone isn’t bored or that they are pleased with what we’re doing. No worry of who is driving, or where we are going to eat and who likes what. Learning to be alone, is one of the best experiences a person can gain and grow from.
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