As this year comes to a close, I've recently found myself reflecting on the changes I've noticed within myself as a Senior in college, and then as a college graduate. These are a few things that I've learned about being confident and embracing my true self over the past year.

We are all entitled to confidence; and strategic use of this trait has helped me earn respect.

I've always been confident in myself about certain things, but I always tried to restrain from expressing that in the interest of being humble and not bragging. This technique often left me unnoticed and unconsidered. But, especially since graduating college, I've learned that if I want something (job, respect, opportunity, etc.) I have to be able to announce that I'd be the best at doing something even if I'm not 100% sure that I actually am. Doing this puts me in the position of always having new things to learn and challenges to face, inciting internal growth and even more confidence when I conquer new tasks and obstacles.

A little bit of attitude will gets me what I want.

I was raised to never talk back, raise my voice, make a scene, or be rude, because that's not how good, respectful, obedient girls act. However, regardless of how polite I am to others, a lot of the time, I don't seem to earn politeness back from others.

In places of business, at work, and walking down the street, there are often times when I feel taken advantage of, mistreated, or ignored. And to always be polite and to always brush things off, is to allow people to treat me this way. But to speak up if I am upset, if I think I am being treated unfairly, or to actually show emotion (such as the always forbidden and eternally "bitchy" emotion of Anger) on my face (because there are actual times when I am entitled to feeling angry) can result in situations being resolved and allows for me to get straight to the point of what I need to do and getting the necessary help to do it.

When men make me feel uncomfortable, I make them feel just as uncomfortable.

I am altogether sick of cat calls and strange comments about my appearance that I literally receive on a daily basis (well, on the days that I leave my house). Whether its from a guy in a Fed Ex store telling me that "Damn! If I was a woman I wouldn't mind looking like you!", or its the mailman walking down the street who stopped me and whose first words to me were "Hey, can I have your number?" or even the trucks of men who stare relentlessly as they pass and yell things out the window that I can't even hear because they're driving past on a busy road, in a freaking truck! Or what about the customer who asked where I was from, and when I said, "Florida," because that's where I am from, he said "Oh, well you look like you're Tokyo." That's right, he told me I look like I am Tokyo... Cause that makes sense. One man even decided, after speaking to me for what had to be a maximum of one minute, that I should change my name to the name that he decided, out of nowhere, would fit me better. I can't imagine that he actually thought he had authority or influence over me, but judging by his persistent behavior, he thought he could convince me that he knew me better than I did.

Every single one of them gets a disgusted face from me, a middle finger, or a comment that makes them feel just as weird about what they said, as they made me feel by saying it. Like I said previously, letting them get away with those things means I am okay with receiving them. Which I'm not.

And don't get me wrong, I appreciate a nice compliment! But those are pretty rare in comparison to the amount of comments I receive that make my skin crawl.

I can do anything a man can do. It might just take me a few tries.

I shouldn't feel like I have to compete with men. But I do.

So, when it comes to partaking in tasks like picking up heavy things, I don't let guys tell me not to worry about it, because they can do it for me. Or let them take from me, what I am carrying, half way to the destination, because they can finish it for me.

I know it might sound crazy, but I can pick up the goddamn box of wine and move it all the way from one room to another without help! It might take me a bit longer, because I wasn't raised doing these kinds of tasks, as males typically are, but if you never let me do these things, I'll never be able to. And I deserve the chance to try and to exercise my strength, just as much as anyone else.

My thought process is just as valuable as anyone else's.

Whoever said men react less to their emotional concerns than women... I don't know... was probably a man.

In my experience, men are very emotional, tend to say exactly how they feel and make decisions based on their immediate emotions, all the time! And I am not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, it's actually something I really appreciate in my partner.

But as a woman, I also make decisions based on emotions. And much of the time I do sit back and consider my actions and words before expressing them; calculating whether or not they are rational and how they will affect others. That tendency is likely a result of women having to tip toe around men (for all of history) and chose their words and actions carefully in order to not be punished, ignored or regarded as a "bitch" or a "witch". But, the end result of critical thinking, planning, patience and precision that is involved in decision making is something that I find to be infinitely valuable. Both men and women are capable of this and I shall no longer think I am inferior in my thought process.

Actually speaking my mind and talking about my opinions during conversation, rather than simply listening to others talk, is so so important.

So, after realizing that my thoughts and opinions matter, releasing them in every day conversation, with friends and with strangers, was a difficult task. And when I do speak up, I sometimes feel like I am being annoying, that I am out of place, and that I shouldn't be talking at all. I have found myself in so many arguments; and it's not because I am trying to force someone to accept my view, opinion, or belief as their own, but because I have to fight to prove that my opinion is valid, worthy of consideration, and that I actually know what I am talking about. I don't ever want to make someone feel as if they have to believe what I believe, but I do want my ideas to be part of the conversation, rather than being an outside voice that can easily be shot down.

I'd much rather have a voice and annoy some people, than have no voice and go unnoticed.

I have skills that are just as valuable as anyone else's.

I am a talented artist and I find myself to be a good leader. I am a positive spirit and for the most part, I am always motivated to do more and to be better. I cook well. I am a good observer and listener. I can produce a smile on my face whenever the occasion calls for it. I am good with words and have an incredible knack for memorizing lyrics.

I have a customized set of skills just like everyone else does, and mine are just as valuable.

My body weight will always be in flux.

There are things I can do, or rather, resist doing, in order to maintain my general size. But ultimately, my body shape and weight fluctuates every day, and I hate watching what I eat and much prefer to just do as I please, as long as I remain healthy.

As a college grad, I cannot take the connections I've made, for granted.

Friends, friends, friends, disappear. I've found that it is so important to hold on tight to those who I enjoy being around, and those who make an effort to reach out to me. Life can get so lonely, even when surrounded by people. Keeping those who you appreciate, close, can make all the difference.

I have to take every opportunity given to me.

I have taken up so many opportunities that don't pay me, but simply give me experience, it's unbelievable. But I don't say "no" to any of them unless I really think that the task and I do not make a good match.

Just the fact that creative opportunities come my way (whether or not they are ideal or pay) is something I've learned is actually invaluable. Gaining experience now is only going to result in better and greater job opportunities in the future.

I am proud to be me!

Embracing myself as someone unique from everyone else, is really empowering. I have different opinions than you, because I am a different person than you, but I still accept that your opinions are valid too. I am aware of the treatment I deserve and those who disrespect me, don't deserve my respect. I am a confident woman and will never dress unflatteringly just because my body makes someone else uncomfortable, and if someone can't keep their crude comments to themselves, then they can have a taste of their own medicine.

Peace, Love, and Respect,

Zoey