I have always been the person who worries about making others happy, ensuring everyone has what they need. Sometimes I even give my lunch away to make sure my friends eat. I get so lost in pleasing others that I forget to put myself first. Making myself a priority started to seem like a chore and I even began to feel guilty about it. After I stopped being blind to the fact I wasn’t doing what I needed to be happy and healthy, I began putting myself first. The following six steps helped me learn to put myself before others.
1. Exercise & eat healthier.
On any article about self-care you will always see this, but spending time being active and changing bad eating habits actually makes a difference. Doing a quick exercise in the morning before you start your day is something I found very helpful, but if you’re like me, waking up a few minutes earlier can even be a struggle. Try to plan 10-30 minutes in your day for a short yoga, stretching, or workout session. Adding healthier foods to your diet including more vegetables and fruits will add energy to your day.
2. Choose self-care.
Self-care also isn’t always about exercising or eating better. It can also be about going outside more, being kind, creating a skincare routine, or getting 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night. Improving the way you take care of yourself will make you feel better.
3. Say “no.”
Saying yes to everything is something I used to find myself doing time and time again. I would say yes so often that it soon became overwhelming and time-consuming. It was like I almost forgot how to say no. Saying no takes a lot of willpower because you feel like you are letting people down, but something I realized is saying no makes you feel free, and it gives you freedom and more energy to focus on things that matter to you.
4. Take mental breaks.
I always wanted to please everyone and to make sure that my friends and family were all taken care of that I got so busy I put my mental state in jeopardy. I began to become physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I began taking mental breaks to clear my mind and change my headspace. Ways I give myself a mental break is meditation, coloring, and napping.
5. Be organized.
Before, my life and schedule were a mess. It was hard to keep track of everything I had going on, as well as all the assignments I needed to do. I began keeping a bullet journal where I plan out my week in advance, in addition to updating it when I receive new tasks or events. Planning your schedule will help you know when you do and don’t have time for others.
6. Know your worth.
It took me a long time to realize that I mattered. In fact, I spent a few years of my life believing I didn’t. Becoming a people pleaser was a way to gain satisfaction and acceptance from others. I accepted toxic tendencies rather than healthy habits and as I noticed the way I was treating myself, I decided to create a change. I stopped begging for people to stay, I quit forcing things to happen when they weren’t meant to, and I understood that not everything is made to last. When I realized my worth, I put myself first.
