Growing up, I was mostly surrounded by people and friends who's parents we're still happily married and I never thought I would be that person in my friend group to have the parents who decided it wasn't ideal to live together anymore.
Being 8 years old when this happened, I thought my world had fallen apart and that my family would never be the same, but ultimately, it got so much better. It didn't become that way overnight, but over the years, I realized that the divorce was the best for my parents, myself, and my siblings. The lessons I learned from my parents' split will forever stick with me and guide me through life.
I learned to adapt different environments/households.
Well, the whole point of parent's divorcing is them not living together anymore. I called two different houses my "home". I packed my bags constantly as I went back and forth, and as much of a pain as it was, it taught me how to quickly adapt to wherever I may find myself. But I can definitely say that I will NOT miss living out of a suitcase!
I look at my relationships differently than people with parents who are still married.
Now this is a curse and a blessing. I'm more of a realist when it comes to dating and relationships, and I'm sure you all who have divorced parents are too. If I think something's up, 9 times out of 10, something IS wrong. I began to love with my mind rather than my heart. Not letting my mushy gushy emotions trump my gut instinct will come in handy one day, especially when it comes to my (currently nonexistent) dating life.
My siblings are my greatest gift in life.
When things went down, my siblings and I stuck together like glue. In the result of the divorce, we were closer than ever and will be this close for the rest of our lives. On the good days, we laughed, made forts out of sheets, and made the best out of our situation. Even on the bad days, we did the same because optimism was key. It made ALL of us that much stronger.
They are NOT divorcing you.
Just because my parents decided not to be together any more didn't mean they were trying to end us as a family. It took me a while (since I was so young) to realize that. It actually made us a better family. Both of my parents still showered me and my siblings with unconditional love despite the craziness of it all. Vacations were still taken. Home-cooked meals were still put on the table. Movie nights were still a thing. It felt like normal after awhile. Normality under two different roofs.
It won't be tough forever.
As I said, thing didn't become all sunshine and rainbows overnight. There was the confusion of what house we were at and just straight up confusion in general. Years later, my parents resolved their issues and once again became the best of friends. They may not have gotten remarried but they were both so happy and to see them that happy brought me so much joy. My mom even remarried and because of that, i'm so blessed to have two little sisters who are the best kiddos I could ask for!! My dad found the love of his life and I get to be a part of his wedding and I can't wait to be there to support him and my future stepmom to be on that day.
So if you have divorced/separated parents or your parents are currently going through a divorce, I want this article to be a source of hope for you. You are NOT alone. I know what you're going through and so do MANY other people. Time will heal and soon enough, you will adjust. There IS a light at the end of this tunnel.
