In the United States, almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce. This is a pretty scary statistic for people who hope to be married someday; especially for the ones who grew up with parents who were separated. In some cultures, it is looked down upon to be divorced, and considered a burden to grow up in that environment. While divorce can be scarring for families, it doesn't always ruin them. Adults fear for the children who don't grow up in two-parent households. They think that it will deprive the child of having the life they always wanted but what they don't understand is that it is completely okay to have divorced parents.

I was two years old when my mom and dad decided to split. What I am told is that the divorce lasted a year (finalized a little after I turned three) and involved a lot of disputes between both families. To be honest, I don't really remember much about it since I was so young. I have a brother that is three years and eight months older than me, so he can recall a lot more about that time than I can. Apparently there was a lot of fighting and counseling involved, all of which I have bits and pieces of in my memory that I can touch back on but for the most part, I have to rely on stories from family members.

There is a look that people give me when I tell them that my parents are divorced. It's the perfect mix of pity, awkwardness, and empathy. I can spot that face from a mile away. I got it all of the time at school when I was asked by friends, parents, and teachers. It was especially abundant in elementary and middle school. During that time, it was almost unheard of for a kid to have divorced parents. I grew up primarily living in an upper-middle class suburb where families were big and perfect, or so it seemed at the time. What I find so humorous about my situation is the fact that people would say "I'm sorry" when they learned about the status of my parents and instead of thanking them, I would laugh. It wasn't a chuckle out of spite for the comment that they had just made, but rather a giggle due to the fact that I didn't really know why they were apologizing in the first place. I didn't know any other upbringing besides my own, so I didn't have a problem with it. I just assumed that everyone grew up similar to the way that I did.

Splitting time between parents was probably the biggest difference that I noticed between me and my friends. While they all had play dates with both kids and parents, I spent my time traveling between my mom's house and my dad's house. During the week I lived with my mom and visited my dad on Wednesdays. Weekends I would alternate between both parents. Since most of my friends lived in a house with both parents, they spent more time on other activities like sports and shopping at the mall. I spent my time in more adventurous situations. My dad has a farm in east Texas that we would go to on his designated weekends where I got to run free till my heart was content. I helped raise horses, build fences, and build what is now our beautiful farm house. Between both parents, I got to travel all over the United States. We were always taking road trips in our spare time which was alright with me. I almost never felt like I was missing out on hanging with people because I was off having adventures.

There are children with divorced parents, and then there are children with divorced parents who get remarried. My dad met Jen when I was three and began dating her shortly after. At first, it was weird having her around when I would visit my dad. I also found it odd that I had to call her by her first name. I wasn't usually allowed to call adults by their first name because it was considered rude. Jen and I didn't exactly click when we first entered each others' lives; mostly because I was a rebellious little demon toddler who just had to make life difficult for her. There was one time that we all went over to her apartment for a visit and I ended up peeing on her white carpet. The fact that she didn't murder me on the spot was a miracle. There were many other incidents like that, yet she still stayed. Looking back on all of those times, I admire how much she went through for our family. She helped me with school projects, attended my theatre/choir performances, and nursed me when I was sick. Most kids don't get along with their stepparents, but after a little while, Jen and I became best friends. We would shop together, go to the movies together, even talk about life together. Whenever I needed something, she was always there ready to help without any questions. One night, I was sick in a bunk bed at my dad's apartment and she held out her hands to catch my puke. There is a whole new kind of love for someone when you are willing to let them throw up in your hands. She has taken me in as her own child which not a lot of stepparents are willing to do. If my parents hadn't separated, then I never would have met Jen and I wouldn't have one of the biggest blessings in my life.

People like to argue that my divorce situation isn't as impactful since I don't remember the actual divorce, but they could not be more wrong. There was just as much fighting throughout my childhood. It was still awkward when everyone had to be in the same room together for events. No matter how old you are, it will still affect in you some way. Yes, divorce is a serious situation, but that doesn't mean that it restricts you from having a happy life. I'd like to think that I still had a great childhood, maybe even with a few extra perks. I always had three of every holiday because I now had three families. I had a bigger audience section than most at performances because of all my new extended family members. I also had three parents who would do anything for me and loved me and my brother unconditionally. I in no way had a deprived life due to the marital status of my parents. I didn't receive a lesser education than others or miss out on my life because of it either. I admire all that my parents went through to make sure that my brother and I grew up right, even if their situation wasn't easy. Divorce can be hard but there is also so much good that can come from it. It's okay to have divorced parents, that doesn't mean that your life is over; it simply means that you are that much stronger than the next person.