You know that moment when you were little and your dad was teaching you to dance and had you stand on his feet? You depended on his every move. You learned to dance the way he danced. You watched everything your parents did and copied them. This is why I have my awful nail-biting habit but this is also why I am such a hard-working student.

I have followed in my parents' steps for most of my life.

When I thought I was breaking away, I felt so free and liberated. I found my own political and religious beliefs. I chose my own occupation. I thought I was paving my own path until God paved my path for me and I realized I was still following theirs.

I was planning on working hard in school to be the best student, that way I could get my masters and get my dream job. Then I could work crazy long hours in a big city and make so much money. But all of that had followed this idea of success and happiness that my parents instilled in me.

I have preached to others that happiness does not come from the comfort of money but from the adventure of trusting in God.

Yet, here I was spending late nights working so hard to make sure I lived a life opposite of that. It wasn't until I was in Morocco that I realized this. God just told me to throw my plans out the window and trust in Him. I agreed then and there to follow Him. Honestly, I am terrified and I even think I am crazy at times but that is all part of it I guess.

In Morocco, they don't have the nicest cars or the newest iPhones but they have hospitality and culture. I don't remember the last time anyone invited me into their home for dinner. It's been even longer since I have done that for someone else.

When we were in the desert, this family invited us into their tent for tea. They had next to nothing and I don't say that to belittle them but to show that they didn't need things. They had love and they had exactly what they needed and nothing more.In America, we all have so much more than we could ever need yet we share so little. They had so little and still shared what little they had. It just made me really dig deeper into my heart and my past.

I prayed to God and he opened so many past wounds that I have buried deeper and deeper.

I have been so afraid of falling in love and getting married because of my parents' divorce. I saw how it affected them and I never wanted to hurt like that. I also went through therapy for years after my parents' divorce and I never wanted my children to go through anything like that because of me.

God told me not to fear being hurt because that is a part of life and that I will only grow stronger through it. Pain is natural and ultimately unavoidable. I don't want to miss out on falling in love just because I am afraid of being hurt.

I have seen both of my parents struggle with alcohol and I know that I will never drink, but it just shows that money does not fill this void in your soul. At the end of the day, I don't want to come home to a nice apartment in the city and feed my cat. I want to come home to my husband no matter where we are. I want to share my life with someone. I want to share my struggles with someone.

I have built this fortress around my heart and pushed away anyone that tries to get close to me because I thought that was the only way to keep from getting hurt.

I never got hurt when I was alone, but I was alone. God showed me that my plan is faulty and that although His plan for me is scary, and honestly a bit crazy, that it is going to teach me so much. By giving up this idea of living a "successful" life alone and allowing myself to share my life with someone, I will grow nearer to God. If I live alone, I will live by my plan, my ideas and fall into my routine, and God wants me to lean on Him.

My parents never learned that lesson but I am able to learn it through them.

My parents worked so hard through school and dental school and they opened their own business. Years later they are divorced and they both live in big houses filled with things and they have driveways filled with nice cars. But they haven't left in years.

I don't want to stay in the same place for the rest of my life.

I want to be a citizen of the world. I want every day to be an adventure. We have one life. I don't want to wake up every day and do the same thing. They dread going to work every day and they are unhappy. I know that if I become successful in my career, I am not going to be happy. I know that I could chase my dreams, but I don't want to.

I can see a glimpse of my future in my parents and I know that having a successful career is not the key to a happy life.

I will admit, I am terrified of breaking free of my parents and following my heart, but I am even more terrified of not learning from their mistakes.