There’s some kind of negative stigma around having self-confidence. If you have got it, people will complain and say you’re so full of it. If you don’t, people will feed on you being “insecure."

So, then what do people want us to be? I’m not exactly sure, but how about you be what you want to be? I say, love yourself, because you are more important than anyone on the outside looking in. Realizing this is the first step to gaining more self-love.

Admittedly, it is really hard to do that in our world today. We are all so consumed in social media and wanting to be "the perfect image" that we feel our images aren’t enough compared to others. But there is more than just image— what is inside of us all is really what matters most. Working on the inside rather than the outside is something that can create the kind of beauty that we want to see in ourselves.

I am a pretty happy person. And I have no issue with saying that I love myself. I know what you’re thinking right now: wow, this girl is crazy. That’s alright, think what you want. But then you fall into that category of Negative Nellies trying to rain on my parade. Maybe if you would just let that judgment slide for a second, you would see that I am so happy because I have learned how to not care about judgment and to love myself in ways that lots of people haven’t. This shouldn’t be taken for vanity either because self-love is something completely different.

Self-love is about having respect for yourself, telling yourself that you are awesome and that you are better than “good enough.” I have really only come to this realization with myself pretty recently, and it took a while to get here. But by loving myself, I have become a completely different person. I learned to love myself, so maybe others can learn too.

I used to be the type of person that cared so much about what everyone else was thinking about me. I would try to analyze that in almost every encounter I had with someone, just as I’m sure a lot of people do. But when I came to college, that pretty much all stopped, and it was super liberating. I didn’t have the time to care, and I wanted to focus on meeting people who were genuine.

I just tried less to impress. I stopped wearing makeup to class every day (because who really wants to be putting that stuff on at 8 A.M.?), I wore clothes that I would be comfy in (leggings every day is the move), and most importantly I didn’t focus on making every interaction a “good” one. Everything just felt more natural this way. I could finally just focus on being me and doing the things that made me happy rather than caring about what others were thinking.

Deciding not to give a damn is the greatest thing I have ever done for myself. No one can bring me down.

I did the things that made me happy, as well as discovering lots of new ones. I put a lot of time into class and schoolwork and earned grades that made me proud, and quite frankly, reminded me that I am pretty smart. I started focusing on the stuff I was eating and tried to go to the gym every day. I didn’t do this to look good for other people. I did this for myself, and it was a real confidence booster because it gave me something else to work on and be proud of internally. I partied a lot and just started having fun to let go of things that would normally stress me out.

By letting go of stress, I started to realize that there is no reason to be stressed when the alternative is being happy.

I also discovered that changing up my physical image a little was not only fun but showed me that indulging in myself is not something to be ashamed of. I decided to dye my hair blonder and pierce my nose, because why not? These were just things that I always thought would be cool for me to do and I am really happy that I decided to do these things for myself.

Again, it wasn’t so much about appearance for others, but about appearance for me. If you want to spend hundreds on a new hair-do, go for it. If you want to drop some cash on some new clothes, you go right ahead. Spending on yourself is fun, and you will be happy when you have invested your own money and time into something that you really want because you deserve it.

Another huge step that I took was deciding to pick and choose my battles. I’m not talking about arguments with others. I’m talking about the battles that we all fight with ourselves internally, battles like stress, exhaustion, drama, and the basic pressures of life. Choosing to take a step back and think twice about how I want to handle all of these things really proved to make a difference.

Instead of letting myself blow things out of proportion, I try to handle these situations with a matter of grace and the understanding that everything will work out. My classic saying is “whatever.” And not whatever because I don’t care, just whatever because a minor issue isn’t worth the stress and drama that it can bring. Sometimes you just have to let go.

Realizing that I make mistakes and that these mistakes are 100% okay is another reason why I am able to love myself every day. I don’t let mistakes bring me down and worry me, I simply let them teach me that when you mess up, you will find some way to make it right. We are only human, and no one is perfect.

Lastly, I came to understand the importance of my life and happiness above all. I am not being selfish here— I am a very selfless person, and I would do anything for the people I love. But you also have to do anything and everything for yourself if it is going to better your life. You should live it right, and that means putting your best interests first sometimes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing what is right for you. Make yourself and your happiness your first priority and see how much things change.

I am confident in myself because of these changes I have made and what they have lead me to realize about myself. These changes showed me that I am a really strong person, and I have the capability to take initiative with my own life.

Yes, they are minor changes, but that’s the whole point here. Loving yourself isn’t a chore—telling yourself that you aren’t enough is. I have still got ways to go on my journey, but I know it can only get better from here.

Let life make you happy. Do what you want. Become who you want to be. Tell yourself that you are awesome just the way you are. Don’t let anyone bring you down. Be happy and a little more carefree. Learn to love yourself because at the end of the day, you are your own greatest companion.