Physical insecurities are exasperating. At times, they can consume us, which can cause us to strive for a standard that is unrealistic. Other times, they can make us timid around other people. We can’t help but wonder, "Can they see what I see?"
I wish I could tell you about a magic remedy I discovered. Some Tumblr-esque, poetic process that could eliminate anything you could possibly dislike about yourself.
Though perception and a positive attitude can help change the way you feel, the bad days can still come from nowhere. The days where you look in the mirror and can’t help but feel angry and disappointed.
I’ve found that honesty can provide relief. There's something incredible about finding out you are not alone in your struggle. One of my favorite quotes is “some of the most comforting words in the universe are ‘me too.’ “ (author unknown)
The self-doubt that seems so specific to you is probably felt by many. I asked friends this week if they’d be willing to share some of their insecurities, and I was honored to receive responses from both men and women.
I wrote some of their answers here, and perhaps you've felt what they have:
“General weight gain.”
“My clef chin and broad shoulders.”
“My whale thighs.”
“I’m insecure that I’m one of the larger people of my friend group and people will notice that.”
“My stature. I’m envious of people that are in better shape than me.”
“I wish I could take all my stomach fat and put it in my boobs”
"I think my skin is too fair"
“I’m insecure about my arm fat.”
“I’ve been insecure about my face. Sometimes I wish I looked older.”
“My tummy.”
“I don’t like how skinny my legs are.”
One of the responses was particularly moving:
“Overall, my whole body is one big insecurity. If I could have one wish, it would be to live in a world where people put no thought into appearances of those around them, and instead noticed them for things that actually matter.”
As the responder noted, it's a shame that we let these unimportant things influence the way we view ourselves. As you can see above, there is such a variety of attributes that people find bothersome. I'm very insecure about my legs and my crazy hair, among many things.
But, we're in this together. We're all confused and annoyed at the details of physicality; the idea of a human "perfection" that is impossible to achieve. So, maybe we should start realizing that we are far too critical of ourselves. When I received my friends' responses, I was surprised. I had never noticed the "problems" they identified about their person. To me, they are all beautiful. Complete packages that would never be defined by one part.
The lens you view yourself with is often harsher than the light the world casts upon you. We try not to offend other people by what we say to them. I think we should trying to use kind words with ourselves as well.
