With the New Year already in full swing, everyone is reflecting on what kind of person they were in 2017 and what kind of person they would like to be in 2018. This is a wonderful pursuit and I don't want to discourage anyone from doing this. However, I feel the way in which people go about it is all wrong.
New Year's Resolutions tend to crash and burn because we put too much pressure on ourselves to be "a new person" instead of loving yourself and aspiring toward little goals.
All too often, we set our sights on going to bed every night at 10 PM when we're acclimated to going to bed at 1:00 AM or exercising for an hour every day when up to that point we couldn't remember the last time we'd exercised.
Everyone hopes for a 0 to 100 transformation, but this only leads to self-hatred. These are goals that take time to get in the habit of, so expecting to be perfect at them immediately sets a person up to fail and eventually just give up on their New Year's Goals. This is precisely the reason why our local gyms are packed the month of January and are back down to the regulars by the end of February.
Instead of setting a huge, vague weight-loss goal, try changing one eating habit in your life that might not be so good for you; this could be that you stop eating by anywhere from 7 to 9 PM.
Instead of saying "I want to be a more positive person", make a concrete goal; this could be writing down one very specific thing that was good or uplifting in your day every night before bed.
The trick to setting daily goals, though, is to not get discouraged if you miss a day. This is going to happen. If you miss a day, you can't think that your whole goal is tarnished and you should just stop. Nope. Just pick it up the next night as if you still have that perfect streak.
I believe very deeply in self-reflection and betterment, but unless done with care and self-forgiveness, it just leads to self-loathing and denial. Set little goals and forgive yourself when you don't follow through. Acknowledge what went wrong and make the effort to do better the next time.
This is not only applicable to New Year's Resolutions but also everyday life. We all need to do better at showing ourselves grace when it comes to falling short of expectations from ourselves and others.
