It was 3 am on a Friday night, I was sitting in Waffle House (say what you want about WH, but I swear a pecan waffle really hits after 12 am) with my best friend when she said something that punched me in the face like a pound of bricks.
“I can’t believe you let him do that,” she said.
And wow, I really couldn’t believe I let him do that.
Although I won't go into detail about the entirety of what happened, all that's important to know is that I allowed a guy that I was in a “situationship” with to disrespect me, in a way that I didn’t even really realize was disrespectful until that moment in Waffle House.
Now recently I’ve really been practicing self-love more.
You know, I’ve been loving and trying to better my body, eating right and exercising, trying to do more things that I really enjoy doing, praying more and being thankful for the things that I have. You know really taking this whole growing and glowing thing seriously and focusing on what makes me happy.
But in that very moment in Waffle House, all I could think was why? Why do I say I demand so much, but at that moment accepted so little? Why didn’t I demand more? Why did I allow that from him?
It was at that moment that I realized that self-love is more than loving your physical and meditating every once in a while. Self-love is also not taking shit from others and being discreet with your heart, your dreams, and your entire self. Self-love is realizing that if they don’t respect you, respect yourself and leave the situation. Self-love is being careful with who you let in and who you give yourself to.
Not everyone deserves to know the true authentic YOU. Because people will honestly take your kindness for granted and as disgustingly pathetic as I know it may sound, there really are people out there praying for your downfall.
Not everyone wants to see you win, hunny.
I quickly realized that I needed to be more conscientious of what I allowed. Not just in relationships, or in that case a “situationship”, but also in friendships, in school, on jobs. Everywhere and with everyone.
Because as a person that truly loves themselves you won’t take all of that. Because you know that people will throw as much scum at you as you allow. Because you know your worth. Because you respect yourself. And because of that, you won’t be afraid to walk away from situations and tell people to