Recently I decided to become a better person. No, this doesn't mean I am curing a country of disease or eliminating poverty (I wish!). But I am taking small day-by-day steps to improve my well-being.
Why do I want to be a better person? Even though there are many reasons why I wanted to become a better person, ultimately it was because of a wake-up call. One evening, unknowingly, I was slut shamed over Snapchat. I did not receive the Snapchat (obviously) but a friend did and told me. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't understand why this happened. Still to this day, I don't know who received the Snapchat or why someone would do this to me. I don't know if it has happened to you, but slut shaming hurts. It makes you believe very negative things about yourself when it's really society's fault. After a lot of crying, I realized the person who blasted the nonsense on Snapchat didn't deserve my tears. He barely graduated high school, worked a minimum wage job (not that it's a bad thing), had horrible habits and was cruel. I finally realized I wasn't the issue, he was.
At the end of every episode, Ellen Degeneres states "Be kind to one another". I decided to take her quote to be my daily mantra. The person who shamed me was not kind to me. What he did was awful and I realized I needed to turn his negativity into positivity. We need more kindness in the world. I needed to rise above petty behavior and be more kind.
Ultimately, I knew I wanted to become a better person. Being a better person does not mean I perceive myself as being superior to others. In fact, I believe it has led me to be more down to earth and caring for others. For me, becoming a better person was to be more appreciative, kind, generous and healthy.
My first step to becoming a better person was to appreciate volunteering. Since 10th grade I have participated in a youth council and since last year I have been tutoring at a local middle school. During the week of realizing I had been slut shamed, I was yearning to be at my volunteering commitments. While I will admit, I participated in them so I would look good on college applications, they have become more than that. They are a sense of release and enable me to help others which surprisingly feels amazing.
My second step was to be more kind. As an introvert and a naturally shy person, it is hard for me to speak up and compliment someone. It's also hard for me to offer people rides even when it's convenient, however I have made a conscious effort everyday to be kind to someone.
My third step is to be generous. This includes offering someone part of my lunch I won't eat or trying to be okay with friends borrowing my clothes. A real example of how I try to be generous is by making and sharing Quizlets with my AP Literature class when we have vocabulary tests. I don't have any friends in that class and by sharing the link it will never directly benefit me. But that is how I used to think about life: "How it will affect me". But I have realized it's okay if it doesn't affect me. If one more person likes me, great. Or if one person worked a long shift and the Quizlet saved them from failing, great. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. When we all have to memorize the same words and I'm going to make a Quizlet for myself, why not share it. It's just a decent thing to do. A classmate once asked me why I share Quizlets. She thought I would rather savor the Quizlet and get perfect while other students who didn't make one might not get a perfect score. This was astonishing to me. The student is by no means a bad or mean person but it shows how competitive school can be. Classmates are still looking to see how they can be better at something than someone else even when it is just a little test. It is such a little thing for me to do but has great rewards to everyone.
My fourth and last step is to be healthy. This means mentally, physically and emotionally. After being shamed, I realized I need to start doing what I love again. That was singing. I, in no way, think I am a good singer but I love it. I used to take singing lessons in middle school but neglected this passion in high school. Singing helps my mental health. Whenever I am stressed, sad or even happy, I sing. I think it is very important to find an outlet where your mind can just wander and you can really be who you are. Recently, I joined a new gym and started working out. Not only am I improving my physical health and becoming more fit, I am also improving my mental health. Working out produces endorphins which make you happy.
I don't believe anyone is perfect. Through consciously trying to better myself, I have become more confident and happy with myself. I am no longer thinking about the pure benefits I will be receiving. Being appreciative, kind, generous and healthy will ultimately make you a happier person. What better benefit could there be?
