And just like that, it was over. Not a single goodbye was said. After all the things that were shared, all the promises made, all the time spent, and all the plans made for the future, gone in an instant. Gone without knowing. That is the power of ghosting.

In the generation we live in today, talking has become a stage before a relationship. In the talking stage, you get to know someone. You text, you Snapchat, and you talk on the phone, sometimes for hours. The texting is from ‘Good Morning’ to ‘Good Night’. You are each other’s Snapchat bestie, that red heart means something. It becomes a routine. You are almost in a relationship, without the title, but with all of the attention. During this stage, you can get attached. You begin to see a future with this person. A future is even talked about between the two of you. Either both of you, or just one of you, is exclusive. It’s all going great, your personalities match, you’re attracted to each other, and then one day the thing you thought would never happen does. You’ve been ghosted. They stop replying to your texts and you lose your Snapchat streak. Say, “Bye bye, red heart.” They’re gone without a look back, without a goodbye.

You start to question if they left because of you. Maybe you’re not as attractive as you thought, maybe they never actually liked you, but you were just there to pass the time. You start to think maybe you should have done stuff differently. Maybe if you had done this or that, they wouldn’t have left.

No matter what reason you think up, you’re wrong. You weren’t the reason they stopped. They’re the reason. They didn’t have the decency to be a kind human being and give you the closure you deserve. They chose this path. They chose the path of them never texting you, but occasionally sending a Snapchat. They chose to haunt you by viewing your Snapchat stories, but never viewing you. They are being the ghost that haunts you.

After being ghosted, it is necessary to remember that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not in the wrong. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this. There is no need to go chasing after them. Give them three days. No texts, no calls, no nothing. Then see if they come back. If they don’t, there’s no need for you to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You tried and they gave up.

Now, here’s the thing with ghosting: You may have done it before and may/may not have been aware of what you were doing. So, to those that have been ghosted, I’m sorry. To those that have been the ghost, that’s your loss. You leave the person afraid to get attached again. You leave the person questioning themselves. There’s a “hell” in “hello” and a “good” in “goodbye.” That’s why you shouldn’t be too afraid of goodbyes, but careful with hellos.

In the end, they weren’t right for you. One day you’ll find someone who will change the way you view the world. They will make your life unforgettable, trust me.