In this day and age, most people (including myself) are becoming more comfortable being in their own skin and just enjoying their own company. Solitude can be a really awesome thing, and there’s nothing wrong with being yourself.

However, I can remember a time where I wanted to be one of the “cool kids” – a time where I thought everyone was really my friend just because we laughed and hung out together at school and at work. The truth of the matter is that “cool kids” don’t exist because everyone is cool in their own way and that most people aren’t truly your friends (and that’s okay).

I’m an outsider.

Even though I can have mind-blowing conversations with co-workers and classmates, I have never felt like I belonged. I click with people but not strong enough to remain. It doesn’t bother me now as much as it did when I was younger because I understand that while I can be funny and someone you can run to, I am just not meant to grouped and labeled… and that’s totally awesome, right? I think everyone feels that way now and again, edginess aside. There’s nothing wrong with that. We are all unique and have individual purposes in this life.

I know some people bask in being outsider and they should; there’s nothing wrong with not fitting in – not everyone was made to be a part of a clique. I also know some people that feel bad for not fitting in with others – they feel unworthy and think that they are just too weird or don’t belong, and that’s not true at all.

Listen: there are billions of people in this world, seven continents, and endless possibilities. You might not relate to the people in your hometown but when you move on in life you might find your niche and that’s okay. You may spend your whole life traveling around the world and never relate to a single person so deeply in your lifetime and that’s okay; friendships and acquaintances come in many shapes and forms. Ties don’t have to last until death, but they don’t have to be a one-time thing either. It’s up to you, the other person, and the effort you want to put into it.

You might think that kicking it with someone daily means that you’re both friends and that can be true, but maybe at that time you two have something in common and once that’s over you’ll be distant strangers again. It’s a scary thought that happens time and again, but sometimes that’s okay; it’s a part of growing up and not everyone is meant to be a part of your for good. Don’t try to hold onto every person that comes into your life, and don’t try to force yourself to become a part of something you don’t fit in to.

I can name a few times where I wished to be “cool” or part of the well-known cliques because they seem to be able to spread messages better and people listened to them more. But once you get past that glimmer of popularity, they’re no different from you and me. Heck, sometimes there are sacrifices for being regarded and favored so highly – unwanted attention and being used for personal gain being a few things. So it’s really just a ruse that’s better left untouched.

Being an outsider is not bad at all. You get to enjoy your own company (which you will really enjoy, trust me) and do things at your own leisure. You have little to no drama and when you do make friends, they are usually very genuine ties.

Don’t try to be “cool”.

Just be you. That’s cool.