I know what you’re thinking. As soon as you opened this article, you expected for me to be talking about an independent woman who has just gotten out of a relationship.

Actually, no.

Independence is more than being free from a relationship; you can actually have independence while still being in one. Let me explain.

I’ve always been afraid of being alone and becoming lonely. It still is my biggest fear, but I’ve been working on it. The other day I was sitting in a Starbucks thinking, “wow that’s kind of amazing…when you finally find yourself, but also can be with a partner.” You can be your own person but still want to come home that night to the same person. I can hang out with my friends and he can hang out with his friends, we don’t have to be together always.

In addition, I’ve finally learned how to be independent. Having alone time definitely has its perks. You are able to get so much done. I have mastered time-management and know productive ways to use up my time. I can get all of my studying done and feel so prepared when a test is coming up.I am able to work more and arrange a favorable schedule to keep me busy. I can read in coffee shops by myself without feeling paranoid or anxious. I can take any type of class, like being able to try out kickboxing. I am now able to calm myself from a panic attack without having to hold somebody's hand. I don't need the constant communication; however, I can talk to that person about anything.

At the end of the day, it's important to be able to just be by yourself.

It's important to be independent because you can only rely on yourself. I'm not saying that there's not family, friends, and a significant other around you that love you and support you, but sometimes, not everyone is reachable. It's important because you learn a lot about yourself when you're alone with your thoughts and can finally figure out how you're feeling. It's important because you get to try new things. It's important because it teaches you (most of the time) how to handle your finances. It's important because it teaches you responsibility; whether it's with academics or just general responsibilities, like keeping the house clean and knowing when you should stop drinking one night. It's important because you realize what your priorities are, and why these things are your priorities. It's important because you can find out what makes you happy; other than people that make you happy.

My version of being independent is being able to be free and do what you want but I can do it with a major support system by my side.