Frat stars are constantly competing to see who can be fratty enough to be on TFM. But before there was TFM, there was Jesus. He was actually there before any of us, but if you want a biblical lesson HMU later. JC started it all, and, therefore, you are all followers and might need to start a TJM (Total Jesus Move).
1. Jesus turned water into wine.
He knew that no wedding of Cana he was at would have just water. He wanted to celebrate and have a good time. As soon as he walked in, he was practically social chairman and with one swift movement was able to turn up- which you aren't a trendsetter of doing, either.
2. He is Lengen-wait-for-it-dary.
Only Jesus could have people talking about him 2,000 years later. Even the best frat stars will long be forgotten in 2,000 years. Jesus is like that guy who is still whispered about in your house for being the ultimate (insert frat name here). Jesus is better than that guy and his kingdom will have no end. Boom. Mic drop...
3. Made the last supper invitation only; I mean who do you know here?
The last supper was only for Jesus and his 12 besties who followed him everywhere (ugh so annoying). Anyway, he had an invitation-only policy and it didn't budge even for a friend of a friend.
4. Jesus sandals.
Need I say more? OK, I will. Jesus started the infamous Jesus sandal, which, too, reigns on and is sported by frat stars everywhere. While we don't have evidence, we are pretty sure he started chubbies too...
5. You could say his 12 pledges or disciples do everything he says.
Minus Judas, that is, but we always have that one hubristic freshman who doesn't know how much he needs his leader - in this case, the savior of the entire world, nbd.
6. He is a Momma's boy at heart.
I mean, like he'd do anything for her and vice versa. We all know those frat stars are macho on the outside, always playing it cool, but the second mothers days rolls around, they realize all the life-altering steps their moms have made in order to raise them. They might not be Holy Virgin Mary Mother of God, but that doesn't mean the frat boys aren't going to go all out with a 99 cent card for mother's day!
7. He's three in one.
Frat boys think they can be an excellent student, party boy and have good friendships. While they likely fail in one of these, Jesus is father, son and holy spirit all the time. AKA, he's too frat for his own good
JC is my homeboy, and maybe if you wanna be more like the OG frat star himself, you can pop open this book about his whole life. It has great tips for the frat star in all of us. Oh, and how to get to eternal life - but JC put that in there for an extra bonus, like when "God said there shall be light and then put on his Oakleys" #TFM #TJM.
