Jesus And The 5 Love Languages

Jesus And The 5 Love Languages

Jesus embodies them all - and you can too

Everyone seems to be talking about the 5 Love Languages these days, so I decided to investigate this new phenomenon. I searched for the online test, took it, and talked about it with my friends at Catholic Campus Ministry. What I learned is that "The 5 Love Languages" was a book written by Gary Chapman that was published in 1995. I found the well-organized website that explains the book and has other resources related to the topic of love languages. The overall claim is that understanding your love languages will help you improve your relationships with others and make those connections stronger.

It is important to understand how your friends, family, and boyfriend/girlfriend like to give and receive affection. I think this is a wonderful resource not as an "end all be all" test. How we care for others changes over time, and no love language is better than another. Please keep those two facts in mind.

This topic got me thinking about the Author of Love (God) and His gift to us (His Son, Jesus) and all the gifts that come from believing in Him. This topic got me thinking about how Jesus would feel about this test, and what his results would be if he took it.

Jesus embodies every single love language and it is amazing.

I am going to give a brief description of every love language, and then give some examples of how Jesus shows love in these ways. Please understand I could source the whole New Testament, but I had to pick a couple of examples for each topic. Feel free to find more examples for yourself.

Jesus and The 5 Love Languages

Words of Affirmation - this language uses words to affirm other people.

Jesus loves his Father, God, deeply. He teaches his followers how to pray to God by teaching them the "Our Father" prayer during the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 6:9-13). This whole prayer is full of words of affirmation for God, and it shows how Jesus likes to give this action to someone he loves deeply.

Jesus also liked to receive words of affirmation. When he asked his twelve disciples who people thought he (Jesus) was, Jesus blesses Peter's correct answer - that Jesus is truly the Son of the Living God.

"Jesus said to him in reply, 'Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father" (Matthew 16:17). (more on this later)

Acts of Service - for these people, actions speak louder than words.

Jesus was busy during his ministry on Earth. For three years, he never stopped serving others. It all started by helping the newlyweds in Cana have a wonderful party. You see, the newlywed couple had run out of wine, and Jesus' first miracle was turning the water into wine, per his mother's suggestion (John 2:1-12).

Jesus calls his followers to serve others too. Faith and works cannot be separated, or the faith is not complete and the works are dead without faith (James 2:14-26).

"For just as a body without a spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead" (James 2:26)."

The good news is Jesus tells his followers how to serve others. He calls us to feed the hungry, help the thirsty, clothe the naked, welcome the stranger, visit the ill and those in prison, and more (in Matthew 25:31-46). It is pretty clear that when Jesus talks about giving corporal works of mercy, and the verses about spiritual works of mercy too, that Jesus doesn't consider us his followers if we do not help each other. (For information on spiritual works of mercy, click this link.

Receiving Gifts - for some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.

Jesus gives so many gifts to his followers. The biggest one is the gift of the Holy Spirit, which helps give gifts of wisdom, fortitude, faith, and more to help us be more like Christ. Jesus also gives his first followers the ability to understand his parables, the teachings of the prophets, and to receive the sacraments.

Let's go back to the moment when Simon Peter saw Jesus for who Jesus was - the Son of God. Right after Jesus blessed his correct answer, Jesus gave Simon Peter a special gift. Jesus entrusted Simon Peter with taking care of the church Jesus founded.

Jesus entrusted Simon Peter with the church Jesus sacrificed his life for on the cross. This was a no haphazardly given gift. If Jesus paid his whole life for the church, giving it to Peter meant Jesus trusted Peter with what mattered most to Jesus.

"And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it. I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 16:18-19).

Quality Time - this language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.

Jesus gave God his undivided attention in so many ways, but this one is my favorite. He rises early in the morning to talk to his Father, even after the long nights of service. Read Mark 1:32-39. Jesus also loved hanging out with anyone who would welcome him into their house for food. There are so many examples of this, it just warms my little heart. If Jesus were here right now, I would want him over for dinner, even if all I had was chicken flavored Ramen Noodles (cuz I'm a broke college student)... and Jesus would love that, I'm sure, just because I made it.

Physical Touch - to this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

Jesus' touch restores life and spirit to others, and he gave his followers the ability to lay hands on the sick and do the same (with help from the Holy Spirit). Below are some wonderful examples:

~The hemorrhaging woman touches Jesus and is healed, and Jesus lays his hands on the little girl and raises her from the dead (Mark 5:21-43).

~Jesus cures someone from blindness and deafness by applying clay (by spitting on the dirt) into the person's eyes and ears (John 9:1-12).

~Jesus blesses the children (children weren't looked to very kindly in that region and time period, so embracing and blessing the children was a radical thing to do). Read Mark 10:13-16.

In general, Jesus not only embodies the love languages in fullness, but tells us to love fully too. Jesus commands the following:

"You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments" (Matthew 22:34-40).

Listen to Jesus. Follow his example. Love God first (because He is the Author of True Love), and then love yourself so you can love others.

Read the following article for more reasons to love yourself first.

Cover Image Credit: Debby Hudson

Popular Right Now

A Letter From God To Help You Finish The Semester

God sees your struggles and He's here to give you strength and motivation.

My Child,

The lack of motivation towards the end of the semester is normal. You are mentally and physically tired, but you are almost at the end. Don’t stop walking down the perfect path I have for you. When you’re going along and you come upon a speedbump, I want you to go over it and keep driving. The paper you have to write and the test you have to study for are just small speedbumps I have given you to make you wiser. You can write that paper and you can gain motivation to study for that test. I am here to give you strength, and am here to open up your mind and give you motivation.

You are so loved. You have such a beautiful mind. The light of Jesus shines through your eyes and your smile brings comfort to the world. There’ll be times you feel like you’re carrying a heavy load. There’ll be times you feel like the task I have given you is impossible to perform. But remember this: I would never put anything upon your shoulders that you cannot carry. If I put you in a certain situation, it’s because I know you are strong enough to go through it.

When you feel like crying, cry to me. When you feel like a failure, remember how much I love you. You are not a failure and you are not going to give up. I will hold your hand through every second of your life. I will seek your heart through your darkest moments. I see you, I see your heart, and I see your burdens. And remember that I have your heart which means I also have your burdens. Follow my footsteps and you will be free from the doubt. Remember Mark 4:40-41: “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” I have the power to calm any storm and wave. I have the power to calm YOUR storms and waves. Set your doubt, anger, and tiredness in my hands and simply be patient.

Romans 8:14-15 says,“For those who are led by the spirit of God are the children of God. The spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again, rather the spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.” Nothing can separate you from my love. Not even your lack of motivation. You have no motivation because you do not feel good enough. You are more than good enough. You were perfectly made by me and when I look down at you, I think of how proud I am of your heart.

Throughout the last few weeks of this semester, you will stumble upon speedbumps. But hold the hand of my son Jesus and you will be able to go over that speedbump with ease. Go write that paper, go study for that test, and go get an A in that class. I know you can because I have given you power.



Cover Image Credit: Margaret Carnes

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

When You Think You Should Be Doing More, Remember These Two Things

Just love.


I will be the first in line to admit that I am victim to comparison about 95% of the time. I constantly catch myself looking at other girls on Instagram and envying their bodies, their boyfriends, or their lives. I see other people and constantly feel worse about myself, or use other people to make me feel better about myself. And even though I know it's not right to do, I still find myself constantly in this cycle of comparison. And comparison is not something that affects only the secular world, but comparison runs rampant within Christian circles.

Whether it is comparing how many notes you've made in your Bible, how many times a week you go to Church, or how aesthetically pleasing your quiet times look on Instagram, no one is free from comparison. However, recently I've had to check myself with two truths.

1. God does not run out of goodness

Comparison believes the lie that when something good happens to someone else, that person took something from you. Whether it's a job you want, a vacation you wish you could take, or a boyfriend you wish you had -- comparison tells the lie that someone has something that you should have gotten or wished you had gotten. However, that limits the goodness of God.

God is never going to run out of good things for His children and His desire to give us what we need and then some will never fade away.

Jealousy and comparison would have us believe that someone is better off than us, but truly we are all right where we need to be and God has good things in store that are ONLY for you. Never limit the goodness of the one who literally made you and breathes life into you.

2. Just love

Recently, I was at a time of worship where the Holy Spirit was very present and people were clearly being moved. As I prayed to the Lord, I prayed "Lord, where do you want me to go? And what big thing do I need to do for the Kingdom today?" And then in the tiniest whisper, I felt the words just love wash over me. Life is not about doing big, big things but instead, life is about the little things, and it is the little things that matter the most to people. Love people where they are, hold the door open for someone, smile at a stranger, and if the opportunity presents itself share the word of God with people.

The gospel is not words, it is actions.

It is little things that show people the Love of God that radically transforms lives. I constantly beat myself up and think about all the opportunities I daily miss to tell people about God, but sometimes all we need to do is show the Lord to someone. We need to just love.

It is so easy to get caught up in things of this world and compare ourselves in every way imaginable. But comparison always disappoints because there is always going to be someone better than you at something, and at the end of the day comparison is exhausting. Remember that God has enough goodness to give out enough to all of His children, and we are so blessed with what we do have and with what you have.

Just love. It's not easy, and some days are harder than others, but you are not alone. I'm out here struggling with you and together we can just love — love others, and love ourselves.

Related Content

Facebook Comments