Many times I have cried out in anguish, “why me God?!” Confused, hurt, frustrated. I have done everything you’ve asked of me God! I strive so hard to do what’s right by you. Where is my reward and why has my fairy tale ending not yet come..

It’s not something I’m proud of, putting doubt in Gods plan for me, but I have been hurt. I have been cheated, lied to, abandoned, and laughed at because of my faith. There is only so much hurt one can take before getting discouraged. Within this last month I have experienced heart break, heck this last week, but I think I’ve figured out why.

These trials and tribulations benefit me. They make me stronger, more eager, and more kind. Even if it’s not immediate, even if I fail to recognize their complexity at the time, these sufferings better me, but that is not the dominant reason “why me.” The dominant reason lies within my oppressor. I am with the Lord, they can not take my strength from him away. God knows this. God allows them to test me because my oppressor needs to see my strength more than I do. They need to know that they can not make me crumble. They need to see my light shine, and ponder what it is that makes me this way. So that someday, probably not today, but someday, they will think of me and think, I want to shine that way. I want to change. I want to be better. I inspire them, and lead them to Christ, that is “why me”. It’s within the scriptures.

God says: “The reason why some people have turned against you and walked away from you without reason, has nothing to do with you. It is because I have removed them from your life. They cannot go where I am taking you next.” I live by this quote, and every time I am knocked down it lifts me right back up, even taller than before. It’s a friendly reminder to keep moving and never look back. Greater is coming. So, no my darling, you have done nothing wrong, in fact you have done everything right. God chose this struggle to bring you closer to him, and God chose this struggle so that you may be a pivotal person in your oppressors’ life. He has chosen you to set an example for his child. To cause them take a step back to evaluate the ways in which they’re living, and just how beautiful is that?

Now I’m not saying just because the ultimate end is good that the pain hurts any less, but God never said it would be easy.Iin fact he admits that we will be put down because of his name, but he also tells us it would be worth it. Embrace your suffering, and find strength in the Lord. “Blessed are you when people abuse you and persecute you and speak all kinds of calumny against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven” Matthew 5:11-12. So rejoice the next time someone hurts you, or calls you names because of him because you are doing his will. Pray for them that they may see, and seek change, because after all isn’t that why we’re here? To help our brothers and sisters make it to his kingdom, Gods kingdom. We are on a mission to bring the whole world.