I pushed open his bedroom door and there she was; the girl whose name that had been residing at the top of my recent searches on social media for months, and the one who I feared the most.
It turned out they had been dating for eight years and were talking about marriage.
"Maddie, we are calling 911," a muffled voice cried behind my locked bathroom door. Every bone in my body was frail resulting me to drop instantly on the floor. I had curled myself in the fetal position and wailed until my pounding heart grew in sync with my throbbing head.
In a matter of 24 hours, I went from being jubilant to suicidal.
In a matter of one month, I had lost 18 pounds and had gone through six therapy sessions.
In a matter of one year, I had fell in love with a man and was heartbroken.
When I was trying to get through this really tough time in my life, I decided to pick up the bible that had been sitting on top of my desk collecting dust; untouched for months. While whisking through the pages, the bookmark brought my fingers to a halt. I opened up the book and saw a bible verse that I had once highlighted a few years ago.
In this bible verse, Paul was going through a really tough time in his life. In fact, it was so tough that he described it as if there was a thorn in his side. Three times he begged the Lord to take away this burden, this thing that weighed him down. But Jesus replied,
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9
The key word in that verse is weakness.
When I read that, I said to myself, "wow, God's grace is most capable of doing something in my heart when I am most weak. Not when I'm happiest, or strong, or most put together, but when I am weak and feel incapable of being a good disciple of Jesus Christ".
Have you ever been through a really bad breakup and decided to look up break up quotes on Pinterest? Yeah, well...I don't recommend it, but I did come across an oldie but a goodie quote,
"Let go and let God."
Yup, that's right; one of the simplest, most common quotes, but one we should remind ourselves every day. In Psalm 139:16, the bible says,
"Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was none of them."
I believe that God had planned out our lives from conception till death before we were born and that he knows us better than we know ourselves. Even though I was going through in what it seemed like struggle after struggle, I decided to put God first and trust in him and his plan for me. Although it is hard or scary at times, I just take a deep breath and remind myself to let go and let God.
If you take anything away from this article, take away this quote:
"Rejection is God's protection."
God is redirecting you to something (or someone) greater and better.
I may have loved this man before, but I learned to love Jesus even more because he gives me the love nobody else ever will.
