Many people now-a-days (look at me, I sound old!) are impatient. Hell, I am one of the most impatient people I know (just ask my partner). But something I have to remind myself constantly is that it's okay to not get what I want right away. I don't mean necessarily a material want, though those are nice, but waiting in general. About life. About love. About the future.
So here are three things I tell myself it's okay to wait about:
1. It's okay to wait for love.
I didn't get into my first serious relationship until I was 20. I didn't kiss, grope, have sex, anything until I was 20. While I did doubt my self-worth and constantly questioned why nobody wanted me, I now realize that it was important for me not to date and have a relationship earlier. I learned so much about myself—about what I wanted, what I needed, what I didn't want—during the time I was single. I only wish I hadn't been so concentrated on finding a partner and instead focused on me; on self-care, self-love, and self-indulgence. It's also important to not think that you can't be happy without a partner. Though having a significant other is nice and helpful for many reasons, it's also nice to know that if need be, I can take care of myself, and I can be happy with just me.
Siobhan Harmer writes, "If you truly believe there’s no possibility of happiness because you’re single, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment, pain, and the inevitability of entering a toxic relationship. The relationship you eventually enter won’t last and you’re going to spiral down. Hard."
Many of my friends told me my standards were too high. I refuse to believe that wanting a person who respects me is a high standard. Because of my tenacity—some would call it stubbornness—I didn't settle just because I wanted someone to love me. Instead I found someone who I can be myself with—and that is more important to me than almost anything else.
2. It's okay to wait for the perfect job.
This one is hard for me to accept. I had the romanticized notion that I was going to walk out of college with a degree on one hand and a job offer in the other. I wanted to get that perfect job in my field that would take me to where I want to go. Instead, I'm still working a part-time job that pays okay but isn't what I want to do. But I also have to remind myself to wait and to not jump at any opportunity. It's important to do your research before you join any company for many reasons. You want to make sure they aren't in any legal trouble, they aren't crappy employers, and most of all, you want to make sure they aren't a scam. My first "big girl" job out of college ended up being a Multi-Level Marketing Scheme (MLM Scheme). There were many red flags, but I didn't want to pay attention to them because A) I needed money and B) I wanted to get to the top quickly.
It's okay to wait. It's okay to take a part-time job that you aren't thrilled about. And it's okay to listen to your instincts even when everyone else is telling you that you need to stay in a job just because you need the money.
3. It's okay to wait to buy things.
In other words: chill. I am moving to a new apartment soon. And as soon as I knew, I wanted to buy EVERYTHING for it. Furniture, accessories, paintings, the works. I was looking everywhere and wanted everything. But I was reminded (mostly by my bank account) that I needed to wait. And I don't want to. But I have to remind myself that it's better to get pretty things later and just get the necessities now. Why? Because that way you reward yourself. You also teach yourself a thing or two about patience. Never jump on the first deal you see. I constantly see this "great" deal on this one thing that isn't even what I really wanted but deals! Deals everywhere! Because I don't want to miss out, I buy it now. And then what happens? I find an even better deal later, for something that I really wanted in the design I wanted. So instead of jumping for the first thing you see and getting stuck with something that isn't what you wanted, wait. It's okay.
Sometimes the future has more planned for you than you know, and if you jump on the first thing you see, you might not get the best version of that. So it's okay to wait. It sucks. Hardcore. But it's okay.
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Side note: I googled "it's okay to wait" and a bunch of articles on how it's okay to wait to have sex popped up. It is okay to wait to have sex, but only if you want to. It's also okay to not wait to have sex, but only if you want to. Everything is up to you and what you want. That's the whole point of this article. Don't let what others tell you to do get in your brain—do what you want to do. It's your life. Live it how you want to.
Second side note: Yes I find the irony in telling you not to listen to what others tell you. Shh.
