When I was around 13, my father told me that I was "the glue that held our family together". That was a lot of pressure to put on a little girl with worries of her own like puberty, and high school, and boys. But I told myself over and over again, "I am the glue. I am the glue. I am the glue". I forced myself to keep it together and make sure everyone else was alright, but I never bothered to check on myself. I made sure that I looked like the perfect child, the glue.
Not all people have verbally heard someone tell them "you are the glue", but sometimes we are simply forced into these positions where we feel the need to take on that role. We ignore our wants and our needs in order to make others satisfied. But there comes a time when enough is enough. After months- or in some cases, years- of pushing our feelings down in order to give attention to somebody else, our needs need to be met. We eventually have to take care of ourselves. Who else is going to do it?
Even our friends and family, they're so used to seeing us being strong that they forget how fragile we are, that we have feelings and worries as well. And it's okay to remind them of that. It is okay to ask for help and it is okay to help yourself. You are not responsible for anybody's happiness but your own. The people who you've been strong for, they'll understand. So treat yourself. Eat some fruit, take a bath, get a hair cut. Tell somebody about all of those feelings that you've been pushing down in order to be the glue. Take care of yourself, it's okay.
