I’ve always been a busy person. I guess that’s one of the things that comes with having a type A personality. There’s always something else that I think I could be doing. During the academic year, my schedule is usually booked from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep. I have a family, I'm pursuing two majors, I work part time on campus, and I’m involved on campus beyond that…the list goes on and on. But, truth be told, I love the busyness most of the time. Despite my long list of involvements and responsibilities, I’ve actually cut many things out of my life as time has gone on. Eventually, I realized some things were nonessential. I was still busy a lot of the time, but I was at least spending that time doing things I enjoyed.

But, the start of this summer is proving to be quite a challenge. While of course I have a family and I’m working there is still plenty of free time in my schedule now and honestly it’s a bit stressful. I don’t want my entire life to be fast paced, but when things are all scheduled out I know what to expect and what’s going to happen next. When there’s more leisure time, nothing is guaranteed.

I’m slowly learning that it’s really okay to not always be doing something. It’s okay to stay up way too late watching “House of Cards.” It’s okay to scroll through Facebook for longer than I should. It’s okay to daydream about crafts I will literally never make on Pinterest. It’s okay to read books just for fun and not only because I’ll learn from them, they’ll better me somehow, or they’re for a class.

I believe that there is a time for everything in our lives, especially relaxation, but I don’t let myself relax often. It’s a challenge. This past week I’ve been able to spend time with family away from home with nothing on my to-do list. Initially, I had planned to finish all the books I’d checked out on my Kindle, write a lot, and do some prep for the upcoming year, but the more time I spent not doing any of it the less I wanted to.

I’ve been conditioned to think that my value and importance is based on my productivity. I’ve set some goals for myself that never allow me to relax. This summer is already proving to be a great lesson in learning to let go. The more I’ve let go of my to-do list and even some of my goals, at least for now, the happier I am. By focusing on each day and enjoying more of my time, I’m still being productive even when at times it feels like I’m not doing anything.