Never have I ever understood the infatuation with staying busy... until this semester. It's overwhelming really. When you have so many passions to act on and people to keep up with and tests to study for and activities to go to, it's hard not to lose yourself in between all of that.
I have realized this semester how important it is to stay active and engaged in the community around me because it pulls me into the routine of enjoying the things that drive me. Busyness holds me accountable for the people in my life and challenges me to learn time management between all the events. It is constantly teaching me that I simply cannot do everything at once, and that it is healthy to take a step back and reevaluate all the things that go on in my life.
On the other hand, at times (especially this past week), I feel like I have been spread so thin that I do not spend enough time with myself. I used to set aside time during the day to do the things that allowed me to assess and improve my well-being whether it was reading, cooking, reading poetry, etc. Unfortunately, I haven't done any of those things in a really long time. It used to be such an important aspect of my life. The change of the pace of my life has been healthy and enjoyable, but sometimes I question whether or not I'm doing things right.
Today I called my dad in the car in between classes just so I could hear his voice. He always knows what to say when I feel like I'm falling apart. Quote dad: "The most important thing is to remember why you're there. Remember who you are. If you're making sacrifices, you're doing something right. If you're making mistakes, you're doing something wrong. Stick to what you know, and things will all be alright."
That was just what I needed to hear. He's always the person I can come back to when I need the encouragement and reassurance that life will always take its course. He always sends me back to my roots--reminds me of the values I hold and why I do. He is the person that always reminds me that I am capable and can get through anything. The words my dad offers me is always the touch of home that I need.
In the midst of all the insane busyness, it takes me a good long time to get to that point where I run crying for help. When I do, the people in my life always catch me, and remind me that I am loved and that I am capable.
I just wish it didn't take me so long to realize that I need to ask for help more consistently instead of asking for it until I get to the point where I question if I'm doing the right or wrong things. I am a stubborn person in that I don't like asking for help. I like to be independent, and I hate admitting that I can't do things on my own.
For you folks that are like me, don't wait until you're drowning to express your feelings. Sometimes it's okay to acknowledge you're wrestling with the things in your life.
I'm learning that busyness is so addicting because it numbs the things in my life that I am uncertain about. It keeps my mind occupied instead of addressing where my heart stands.
Busyness is a good thing if you go about it the right way. Don't let it get the best of you because it does sneak up on you. Make time for the things and people that put you at ease whether or not you are busy. They are your home and the things that make you who you are. Please don't forget.
