If you have never had an eating disorder then you more than likely don't see the problem in referencing it like its not big deal. I wanted to take a minute to explain something; there is a huge difference in having body image issues and an eating disorder.

For those of us that have an eating disorder it isn't just a look. When we open up to people and are met with "but you don't look like it" and we freeze. No we may not be stick thin at the moment but that doesn't mean anything. Having an eating disorder is like having that little devil on your shoulder all the time.

If someone says you look nice you smile and thank them but wonder if they really meant it and if you really look okay and hope your stomach doesn't look too big. Its more than just looking in the mirror and thinking you're not the way you want to be, it is however looking in the mirror and not being able to see any of the positives about yourself and constantly seeing yourself as much bigger than you really are.

It is tough.

It is a constant battle between people telling you that you don't eat enough and you thinking you eat too much. Not to mention, if you restrict your eating your stomach shrinks so telling us to eat more isn't doing us or you any good. Then there is figuring out if you are even hungry. I still have a problem with this. Once you tell yourself enough that you are only eating because you're board it is hard to kick that. I spend at least an hour and a half to an hour deciding if I am hungry because I tell myself I don't need it I am just board.

It's not just about eating. It is about our body image as a whole. I focus on my stomach but when things were bad it was effecting my mental, physical, and social health. It even effects those around you because they worry and if they really care about you they worry more than you think. It is a beast all in its own. The eating part is just an extra weight.

The thing is that I love who I am, I do. I don't love how I look and for a long time I went about changing that in a very very unhealthy way. Eating roughly a quart of rice and a container of yogurt in 48 hours is not enough when you work out for 4 or more hours a day. Now I am going about it in a much better way. I eat better, I changed my diet, I still workout, and I don't get on a scale. In fact, my doctor has told me not to more than once because we both know how bad of an idea that is.

Really all I ask is that you think about what you say. And for that matter, don't put yourself down. You had a burger for lunch and ice cream for desert, who cares? If you want it, eat it! For me to stand here and tell you its bad to be negative about yourself so stop is unrealistic because I still have days like that. However, I know how it feels to have this problem and feel like no one understands. Understanding goes a long way.