You may have looked at the title of this article and wondered why or when it is ever okay to be selfish, but in this case, selfish means focusing on yourself. It is never a negative or bad thing to put your own priorities and needs first because at the end of the day, you can't help anyone else unless you are healthy and happy. It isn't a sin to make sure you are doing okay and check in with yourself every once in a while, only to reassure yourself that you are doing fine and that you are happy with who you are, who you've become and where life is taking you.
Sometimes it is hard to find a balance between giving all of your time and energy to others who are not putting in as much as you are and not giving at all. In order to find a balance, it takes a lot of reflection, recognition and self knowledge in the sense that you have to know who you are. This leads me to my point that being selfless and being selfish can be done together and in harmony.
As humans, we have to remember that kindness and generosity and virtues and values that we should always hold dear but not when it comes at the cost of our happiness or is a continuously destructive situation in which one person is always giving more than the other. This is when selflessness becomes too exhausting and selfishness becomes too consuming. Selfishness should be tolerated, except when it comes at the expense of others.
If you need a day to yourself to think things over, do some spring cleaning or if you just want to watch Netflix instead of going out on the town with your friends, then this is a great example of being just a little bit selfish to make yourself happy and step back and take a break. If your significant other wants to go to school in Arkansas, but you got into your dream college in Florida, then obviously you should go to the school in Florida and this doesn't make you a terrible, soul-sucking person.
However, there are situations when selfishness becomes just too much and in moments when it touches others in a negative and harmful way is when the individual who is instigating these acts should be aware of their actions. In a physical, mental or verbally abusive relationship where one partner is putting their partner's needs above their own and devoting all of their time and energy to this person who automatically expects their significant other to vouch for them, selfishness has taken a bad turn.
When someone finds that they haven't spent enough time taking care of themselves because they are giving so much to the people around them, then it's time to reconsider where their effort should lie and that should be in prioritizing their own needs above others until they are willing and able to help in a meaningful and impactful way. All in all, selfishness is accepted and it is okay, when it consists of taking care of oneself or recuperating and relaxing, but when it costs others their happiness and time that could have been well spent, then it has truly become toxic.
