It is okay to not be okay.

I am not okay. I am not going to be magically okay anytime soon. And I’ve accepted that fact. I’ve accepted that there is a part of me that is broken and that’s alright.

I am so sick of hearing “you are okay”. Yes, you are right; I will be okay eventually, but for now I am hurting. I am hurting deeply. And it sucks. I struggle to hide the tears, I struggle to keep up in school, and sometimes I struggle to get out of bed. For now, I know I am broken. But I will be put back together again.

A lot of these feelings come from a place of worthlessness or frustration or hurt. I can promise you that no matter where you end up in life, you will be okay. Because of all the things you have experienced and felt, you will be okay. I believe human beings are not programmed to be upset constantly or live a life full of regret and sorrow. It’s in our power to be okay and whatever that takes, most of us will do. Through the help of others, the power of love, the strength within you, anyone can be okay.

I am not any expert on any of this. I am struggling to remind myself of my worth, my strength and my importance on this Earth all the time. But this is only a phase in my life. Just like it is in yours. And for now, I am okay with not being okay. I realized I need to hurt and I need to heal before I am 100 percent okay. And that’s okay with me. I am in no rush. I am in no hurry to make myself together again. For now I need to cry and take care of myself. For now I need to be my own boyfriend/girlfriend, best friend and comfort, even though I do not always want to do that for myself. If going through this phase in my life has taught me anything, it is has taught that I need to find that love within myself.

I am okay with not being okay.