For a long time when I found myself lost, unclear, or in bad situations I told myself, "It is what it is." By saying this, I thought it was an optimistic way of coping with my poorly dealt cards and me looking at the glass half full rather than half empty. But in reality, using "It is what it is" as a coping mechanism is damaging. "It is what it is" is a tool to simply avoid the things we find the most difficult, the issues that make us ache, and the little trials that make it hard for us to get up in the morning.
I vow to never use the phrase again in order to put a bandage on my scars. I will no longer use it to forget that I'm not where I want to be. In fact, it isn't what it is and it's not what it will be. I refuse to be okay with the painfully below average outcomes. Although, I do understand the importance of not being too hard on yourself. I understand that you can't always win and perfection is not obtainable. However, good is not enough when better is possible.
So if I continue to remain as average and tell myself "it is what it is" then I will remain mediocre for the entirety of my life. Living an "it is what it is" life is not something I desire and I cannot have people around me who have an "it is what it is" mentality. Do you think the best in the world got to where they're at now by saying "it is what it is"? Not possible.
When falling on my face and doing the undesirable I will not tell myself "it is what it is," but instead I can replace this phrase that is a shield to mediocrity and replace it with things like "I'm not where I need to be" or "I got this next time." You shouldn't be looking at the glass being half full rather than half empty, but instead you should be looking to see how you can fill the glass up to be completely full. "It is what it is" shrugs off the little discrepancies in life that could be easily fixed with a plan, a purpose, and patience.
So go with the flow, but don't settle for less.
Be patient, but do not accept mediocrity.
Understand things won't always go your way, but determine a better plan.
Remind yourself it isn't just what it is. Do not tell yourself that you don't make the rules because you have the capability to make the rules and be in charge of the life you desire to live. Life is what you make it. If you settle then yeah it is what it is, but a life full of continuous settling is a life lacking in passion and full of undesirable outcomes. So the next time you find yourself saying this in a bad situation remember that phrase is no longer in your vocabulary. You are in charge. You will not settle. You got this next time.