We live in a society that makes us think we need to give until we have nothing left, and then some more. As a humanitarian, I can tell you first hand how important others' well-being and feelings are to me. I constantly want to help and I constantly want to be there for people, for animals, for any thing that needs me.
At some point, I learned that it is totally okay and justifiable to be selfish sometimes. Here are some of those lessons I have learned:
1. Be selfish when you are tired.
You cannot help other people when you're only giving 2% because you barely slept. It is okay for you to be selfish when it comes to your sleep. If your body is shutting down from fatigue, go to bed. Saving the world can wait until you've caught up on some rest.
2. Be selfish when you are sad.
We can get so wrapped up in trying to save everyone else's mental health that we forget or ignore saving our own. Keep yourself happy and sane before moving onto the rest of the world - trust me, you will be better for it, and people will understand.
3. Be selfish when it comes to what is in your best interest.
End poisonous relationships, end terrible friendships, don't let them start. Unapologetically love whomever you please and don't let people drive wedges between you. If you are in a setting and feel uncomfortable or aren't enjoying yourself, leave. You owe yourself what's best for you, you don't owe anyone your company if you don't want to, and you don't owe anyone answers.
Do not throw away your future over temporary people and even if you do, be aware that you can always start over and there is nothing selfish about moving yourself forward.
4. Be selfish when you need help.
We all need help sometimes. Be selfish and ask for it if you need it. Be selfish and get it for yourself. Again: you will only be better for it.
5. Be selfish because you feel like it.
If you don't feel like giving more of yourself - don't. If you feel like sleeping all day or being unavailable or staying in the tub for an hour with no phone, or taking a nap with the cat, do it. If you just feel like making yourself a blanket burrito and relaxing in front of the TV, do it. If you want to go run 5 miles to clear your mind, do it. Nobody in this world has the right to tell you that how you feel is wrong.
