It's not easy being a people-pleaser. Living life day in and day out, trying to make everyone around you happy can be way more exhausting than it sounds. We all know that one person who simply radiates love and compassion, whether it's a friend, a family member or even yourself. Although beautiful from the inside out, that person is more than likely exhausted, worn out and ready for a break, but that's not easy for them. If this sounds like you, listen up. If this sounds like someone you know, relay this message to them: it's time to love yourself as much as you love everyone else.
1. Don't blame yourself when friendships fail.
Yeah, it sucks a lot when someone you've put a lot of time into turns out to be a crappy friend. It's not your fault, though. You can't control everything that happens, especially when it comes to other people. They're unpredictable, and you did everything that you could for them. It's time to let them go.
2. Making bad choices doesn't make you a bad person.
So you've messed up once or twice. Big deal. You're human, and humans make mistakes. Stop thinking about it so much. Stop torturing yourself with what you could've done differently. You are a good person with good intentions, and that should be good enough.
3. You're allowed to have feelings.
It's okay to not be happy all of the time. If you're having a bad day, being cranky is alright. If you're feeling down, wear your heart on your sleeve. Scream. Cry. Do what you have to. You don't have to keep on your always-happy facade. People will accept you at your worst.
4. Get rid of toxic relationships.
You think that being nice means not letting anyone get hurt, but what about you? What about when you get hurt? Kick those nasty, no-good relationships that do nothing but hurt you to the curb. It'll be hard at first, yes, but put yourself first. You're worth as much as the person you're trying to protect.
5. Take some time for yourself.
Every now and again, you need to start taking some me-time to get away from the world. Whether it's for an hour or for a week, spend some time alone with yourself and just relax. There's no pressure to make anyone else happy but yourself, so do it.
6. Forget about what other people think.
Stop spending so much time worrying about what other people will think if you do ____, or what they think about how you did ___, and so on. Chances are, nobody's putting as much thought into it as you are, so let it go. You'll feel so much better after you do.
7. You matter all by yourself.
Your worth cannot be measured by who you know, what you do or how you act. You matter, and you will always matter no matter what. You matter now, you will matter next year and you will matter in the year 300 when not much has changed, but they live underwater. (What's the matter? Did I use the word "matter" too many times?)
8. Someone out there loves you.
Yeah, this is super cliche. No, I don't care. Whoever you are, there is someone out there who loves you and cares about you, because you are worthy of being loved and cared about. It can be easy to feel like you don't matter to anyone when you're so wrapped up in worrying about everyone else, but keep this in mind: you are so loved.
9. It's okay to stop caring.
Sometimes, not caring is the only option you may have left. If everything is working against you, and putting time and energy into caring about something is only hurting you, it's okay to take and step back and take a break. You're not doing anything wrong by doing so. It's alright.
10. Your good deeds don't go unnoticed.
Even though you might think that you're just being a decent human being when you do the wonderful things that you do, know that they are likely never going unnoticed. Someone is always in the background thinking, "Wow, she's so nice!" or, "He really would do anything for anyone." Even if you don't do what you do for the recognition, someone is almost definitely recognizing you, so give yourself a pat on the back.
11. Love yourself.
You love everyone so unconditionally, and now it's time to do the same for you. Sometimes you'll be hard on yourself, and sometimes you won't feel like you deserve to be proud of who you are, but please, please just love yourself. You're doing a great job, and you should love yourself more than anyone out there possibly could. At the end of the day, you are the only one in your life who is going to be there no matter what. Treasure that. Respect that. Love that. Love yourself. You deserve it.
