Well I guess you could say it has been awhile since I have been writing. I have no excuse as to why I have neglected to write articles or continue on my book, I simply have lost inspiration. You never really know how important inspiration actually is until you find yourself without it; for without it there is no will, and with no will, there is no purpose. I lost the purpose to my writing just like I lost the girl I used to be. I thought that if I started this new life, with new adventures, new inspiration, and a new purpose, it would be easy and life wouldn't be so hard. You could call it naive or just down right stupid, but to me it was a disappointment, I was disappointed in myself that after all this time I still couldn't make my life any easier.

When I left Iowa I was full of inspiration, I was going to move to Arizona, finish my book, and finally find some happiness. I had a purpose that was quickly derailed by the big ugly giant that we call life. Things got in the way, I unexpectedly experienced more valleys than peaks, I gained some and lost more than I needed or wanted to. I once again stuck my feet in the sand and let them sink. I let the darkness consume my life which began taking away my purpose and inspiration. I always had an excuse as to why I would let life get in the way, but I think this time I have none, I can no longer allow something else other than my own lack of control take the blame. As my feet sink further, I realize that for once in my life, it might be time to dig myself out.

With every movement I feel as if I am sinking further, still making no progress, but that is because I don't actually want to get out. I want to keep sinking. I want to fall deeper. All because it is the easy way out. I have taken the easy way my whole life, avoiding the fact that sometimes it takes more effort than I can fathom. If you slow down, take in the pain that you try so hard to avoid, and take a deep breath, your feet no longer sink and you can feel the pain ease as you accept it. Now with each swift movement I can feel the inspiration pouring into my veins and the warmth of happiness on my skin. With that small ounce of inspiration I am able to begin to sort out the mess that life has created for me, and with each mess I clean up, I feel that purpose cross my mind once more.

Now if you were to ask me how my life is going, I would probably laugh in your face, but I could tell you that I do have things under control and I am on my way to fulfilling that purpose that I created for myself. It all starts with a little inspiration. Inspiration in which I find bringing a smile to my face as I am once again doing what I love, writing.