Being individuals and facing different battles is part of being human. With that being said, we all face difficulties on a daily basis that others may not understand. From depression to anxiety to bipolar disorder and eating disorders, no one sickness has the same impact, and not everyone copes the same as others. I feel as though over the past few years that I have been battling the hectic and hideous disease called depression, there have been a few things that no one seems to understand quite as well as they should. These things, in my opinion, need to be known.
1. Attention doesn't matter to us.
Just because we are capable of openly talking about our depression or disease doesn't mean we want all of the attention or your sympathy. Depression is something that has to be coped with and discussed because if not, it has the capability to attack one's mind until there is no chance of return. Being able to openly talk about our disease is somewhat of a way for us to attempt to open up and sometimes even serve as a way to ask for help so we do not have to face the battle alone.
2. Some days are just bad.
Not every day is a good day. Sometimes we may need a day alone where we don't have to talk to anyone or be responsible for anything or anyone other than ourselves and our happiness. Battling depression may not be an everyday thing. For example, I can go a month and be fine, but the one day my brain decides it wants to break down, it's going to break down. Please allow me to just be alone, to love myself, listen to my music, or maybe even color in my coloring book for an hour or so. When I have a bad day, I can't control it, nor do I want to. It will pass, just like everything else.
3. Words matter as much as actions.
Telling us that everything will be okay works sometimes, but at the same time, telling us we are okay and need to keep pushing on can tear us down faster than you could ever imagine. Words matter and words can hurt just as much as actions do. Be there for the people in your life battling any form of mental illness because I promise it is an awful life to live. Talk to them, tell them you love them and be a listening ear when it is needed. But most of all? Prove to them you love them. Put in the effort and show your love through actions. Take them on a picnic, to the park, spend time just hanging out and having fun. These little things mean more than anyone could ever imagine. Time spent with friends and family allow for a distraction against anything negative going through their minds.
4. This actually is a disease.
Depression is not something most people can make up. Sure, there are the few people who are twisted and think making up illnesses allows for more attention and drama in their life. However, us, the ones actually battling the disease, did not ask for this. We do not enjoy wondering if the next day will be a good one or one where we want to commit suicide. Maybe we will want to get out of bed early and dive head first into our work for the day, or maybe we will want to lay in bed and watch Netflix for 8 hours. Either way, it has to happen because we have no control. Please don't judge us for what we need that day. And when we ask for help or say therapy sounds good, encourage us to do so. Therapy as well as medicine are not signs of weakness or giving in. We only want to better ourselves and move on.
5. You have to be patient.
With time, all of the mental illnesses that exist can be tamed and life can go on as normal. However, it typically takes a lot of time and effort to create happiness in the world of someone who has lost all sight of the good in life. BE PATIENT. We will get there, but we may need a little nudge here and there, & you never know.. You might be the only one who can help.
