The only time it's okay to out someone
Start writing a post
Swoon

Here's the Only Time It's Okay to Out an LGBTQ+ Person

You can only reveal an LGBTQ+ person's identity if...

23
Here's the Only Time It's Okay to Out an LGBTQ+ Person

If you have a friend who identifies as a member of the LGBTQ+ community and you have wondered whether it would be okay to share their identity or out them to someone, here's the only time it would be okay...

Never.

You read that right. It is never acceptable to reveal another person's sexual orientation or gender identity. You can make a mountain of excuses, but none of them will take away from the fact that you have violated this individual's right to comfort and privacy.

No, "everyone" does not already know that person is queer/non-cisgender.

You may claim that you assumed this person's identity was common knowledge...but you know what they say about being so quick to assume. The so-called closet only exists because there are still intolerant members of society. There are still people out there—religious or close-minded or just plain ignorant—who take every opportunity to express their hatred for and disgust with the LGBTQ+ community.

And yes, your friend might be out and proud in their liberal college town, but they are still closeted when they go home to their conservative friends and family. The point is, know that not everyone in the free world is aware of someone's queerness or their gender—and there might be a reason they don't know.

Outing people can seriously put them in danger.

While they might not be killed or tortured in the town square for their identity, this person could lose financial and emotional connections that are critical to their survival. Parents who don't condone LGBTQ+ identities, for example, may tell their child that they're no longer going to help them with their college tuition payments. They might even completely ostracize them from the family and forbid them from ever going to any future gatherings. Aside from that, this person might have their fellow churchgoers turn against them and prevent them from enjoying their religion the same way. Thanks to your careless reveal of this person's identity, influential people that once brightened this individual's life will now be motivated to destroy it.

Coming out is relatable to a lot of people, but it still is personal.

"Coming out shouldn't be a big deal anymore." And you're right about that, but you're wrong if you think the best way to promote positive change is to bust down the closet doors yourself. Whatever the reason, this person has chosen to stay hidden for now, and you need to respect their wishes as an individual and keep their "secret" to yourself. Because it is their identity and their life at stake in the aftermath of exposing it, this person's decision to come out or not come out is entirely their own.

You could ruin this person's relationship. 

If your closeted friend is secretly dating someone of the same sex, don't take it upon yourself to shed light on their private lives. Outing them will not only expose their individual identities, but it will also publicize their romantic and sexual relationship. Their partner might not mind, but they also could be so distraught over being outed that they break up with their S.O. to dismiss the allegations altogether. Then you've gone and ruined that person's relationship with themselves, their world, AND their lover all in one shot. Way to go, home-wrecker!

If one of your friends is LGBTQ+, you should care enough about their safety, well-being, and happiness to guard their secret with your life. As long as they don't want to be known about, they are entitled to stay comfortably in the closet. You do not have any say over whether or not their identity is shared with the world at a particular time. It might be tempting to tell someone, but before you do, remember this: how would YOU like it if they scattered around pieces of your intimate life for everyone to see?

Report this Content
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

937245
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

114085
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

87293
​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments