As a self-labeled introvert, there have been many circumstances in my life where I thought I was weird because of my dislike for certain situations. I am weird, but that’s neither here nor there. The situations I mean are the stereotypical ones: the big groups, times with lots of chatter, meeting new people, things of that sort. I hate those situations. It’s not because I’m rude or selfish. It’s because it mentally exhausts me to spend a lot of time with a large group of people or meet 15 strangers in a row. It makes me merely uncomfortable now, whereas at a younger age, it made me extremely irritable and emotional, often to the point of tears. From talks with my more extroverted friends, they simply don’t know people like us exist. They don’t know that there are people who sometimes need to be alone, just for a little while.

In case you haven’t researched this as thoroughly as I have, “introvert” is not a sickness or defect of the brain, nor even shyness. Introverts are those who typically focus on their internal feelings and thoughts, whereas extroverts focus on the feelings and thoughts of others. Introverts gain energy from being alone, and extroverts gain energy from interacting with the outside world. Not everyone can be easily classified as one or the other; it’s a spectrum with people all over it, and keep in mind these aren’t the only defining features of a person. When I was first told about the existence of these two natures, I clung to it. Here, finally, was an explanation as to why I was so different! Here was why I prefer small, intimate friend groups, and got irritated when I had to spend a lot of time with strangers.

For myself, situations like the ones I spoke of in the beginning put me in a high state of anxiety. I’m not trying to milk this; I have no anxiety disorder or hormonal imbalance that gives me a definitive reason for the anxiousness. It is simply who I am. It’s a result of the way God made me, even if I don’t handle it so well sometimes. Anxiety is a thing. It makes me act in ways that many find strange.

“It’s leaving the supermarket because you can’t find what you need, and asking someone is not an option.

It’s rehearsing your drive-thru order in your head over and over again so you don’t screw it up and get embarrassed.

It’s staying quiet when your friends make jokes because you know anything you say can be ridiculed.”

Those may seem to be extreme examples, but situations like the above crowded my middle school years, and I had to work very hard to overcome those feelings. Everyone feels anxiety at different degrees, and I’m by no means saying all those inclined to introversion experience the same things. These are just my personal thoughts based on my life.