For as long as I've been able to consider myself an individual, I've known that I'm an introverted person. I believe I've written before about the first time I realized I had any kind of anxiety, and I certainly feel that realization has contributed somewhat to the person I've become. Of course, that's not to imply that I could ever change that because we all know mental illness can't just be wished away, right? Right. However, for as long as I've acknowledged and accepted that this is who I am, I've also been judged or (dare I say) shamed for being an introverted person. And that, I think, frequently comes from a misunderstanding of how I, and I assume many others, function as people.
I've mentioned before that I lost a major friend group a couple of years ago, and I was forced to reevaluate who I am as a person, what's important to me, and what makes me happy. What I realized, as I'm sure you have, is that I decided I was happier being (mostly) on my own as the stress and maintenance of a larger friend group really doesn't seem worth the reward to me anymore. I realize that may sound harsher than I intended, but I trust that my meaning wasn't lost. Since then, I've been able to adjust my life to a process of focusing on one thing at a time, including myself, and only have to worry about dividing attention for my partner in almost every circumstance.
This leads me to be able to talk comfortably to people about the fact that I don't go out with or do things with people by choice (In most cases, at least. I do sometimes have other priorities that get in the way.) This, unfortunately, has led to some people in my life telling me that I "need to get out more" or "need to learn to live my life" as though my lifestyle isn't good enough for them which, I think goes without saying, is a ridiculous thing to tell someone. They also frequently express concern for me "in the real world" which, if that felt legitimate, I would appreciate, but instead I know they don't understand that I don't lack the ability to talk to people, but I just prefer to keep to myself. That, in my experience, rings true for many people of my mindset. We aren't unable to be functional human beings, (I actually think I interview and talk to people one-on-one really well) we just like to have the option of being on our own. It is, quite literally, no different than someone who prefers socializing and large group events. It's simply the other end of the spectrum.
Some days, I go most of the day without actually using my voice, and while some people are concerned or confused if I happen to mention that, it isn't something that worries or bothers me. In my eyes, it's healthy that I've learned to live with myself and find ways to spend time with myself without going insane. That, to me, is a strength, and I would consider it one in both myself and other people.
While I do, to some extent, understand the "You should get out and do stuff!" ideology, it's not something that should be pushed on people who, like me, are open about simply being more comfortable staying in. It's hurtful and unnecessary to try and, essentially, tell someone who they are, what they enjoy, and how they live is wrong when it comes to something as simple as introversion versus extroversion. Be considerate of how people live their lives, so they can continue to feel safe and comfortable in their lifestyle.
