Do you ever have those moments when you look at someone and you cannot believe they actually exist as a human being because to you they are so unbelievably amazing but you would never make the first move because you’re too afraid? Yeah, that sums up my life.

I have such an incredibly hard time talking to people I don’t know first, especially someone I like. I would definitely consider myself an introvert. I’m very outgoing when I’m around my friends, but when it comes to other people, I am so paranoid. I think what a lot of people who aren’t reserved don’t understand is how hard it is for someone who is introverted and anxious to just go up and talk to someone they like, or text them out of the blue.

You would think that if someone likes a person that much that they would get the confidence to talk to them, but it’s not that simple. You start to think of every possible thing that could go wrong, or every awkward situation that could happen and it freaks you out. It’s a constant battle with yourself because you want that person to talk to you, but the idea of talking to them terrifies you. It’s almost like you wish you could instantly know someone and not feel so afraid to have a conversation with them. You wish you could automatically feel comfortable with someone so you could be yourself and be the outgoing person your friends and family know you to be. You begin to analyze everything they do and think, “Oh maybe that was a sign! Maybe they like me” because you are way too scared to go up and ask them yourself.

It’s almost impossible to pursue anyone because introverts (at least me anyway) sit back and watch as other people pursue the person that they like. Then they say to themselves, “Oh well” (and maybe eat a tub of ice cream because they’ve invested so much of their time thinking about what the relationship would look like that it feels like an imaginary breakup) and move on just like they’ve done so many other times.

I can’t sit here and give some big solution to the problem because frankly, I haven’t fixed it myself. I still can’t go up to people I like and talk to them first. I constantly daydream about what it would be like to actually have it work out.

I guess the point of this article is to bring some kind of awareness to others that don’t quite understand anxious introverts like myself. It’s harder than you think. But I’ll keep you posted and let you know if anything ends up working out (lol).

I know it’s hard but the only thing that ever makes me feel better, is trusting that there is someone for everyone and that God will give you a push if He knows that’s the one. Keep the faith and continue dreaming about the day your crush ends up liking you, because according to Disney, dreams do come true.