I’ve been spending a lot of time alone lately. I’ll have a visitor here and there, or work up the energy to visit someone, but for the most part, I spend my time on my own. Since I’ve had so much time to myself, I’ve been able to do a lot of thinking on the situation. It’s not uncommon to come across an article on the internet that emphasizes the positive aspects of embracing one’s own introversion, but there are some serious disadvantages that come along with it. The following are just some of the disadvantages that are affecting me currently.
1. Human interaction becomes an anthropological or psychological study.
I have plenty of friends whom I love and cherish but don’t see very often. A good majority of them know me well enough to understand that they may not see me for weeks, or even months, at a time. While I’m always grateful to have such understanding people in my life, I realize that when I finally do show up, I generally have a difficult time participating socially. Social gatherings are almost alien to me sometimes, and I become preoccupied with observing the way others interact with each other rather than making a conscious effort to be present. It’s fascinating, but am I really there? It’s difficult to say.
2. You eventually watch yourself become “that” neighbor.
It’s not that you throw loud parties during the week or let your friends park in places they’re not supposed to, it’s just that you haven’t left the house in a few days. What do the neighbors think about you? Most likely, they don’t care one way or another what you’re doing. That doesn’t mean you won’t entertain thoughts of what you think they’re thinking of you. Maybe you start to see the humor in the situation. Maybe you start to wear black clothing for those occasions when you finally do leave the house, just to drive their possible thoughts home. You are the quiet, slightly creepy neighbor, who barely talks to anyone, and rarely leaves the house. You then adopt a series of daydreams about how you’ll use this persona to your advantage when you’re old.
3. Meal times become your least favorite part of the day.
Despite a true desire for peaceful solitude, eating a meal becomes one of the loneliest things you can think of doing. Especially if you, like me, haven’t yet gotten the hang of cooking for just one person. The worst is when you’re proud of a dish that came out better than you were expecting, and no one is there to taste it. After the meal, the only thing to look forward to will be cleaning the kitchen and putting things away. Then what? It’s the question I’m still trying to answer myself.
I’m not saying that these are reasons to attempt a major life change because that just won’t happen. One can’t decide one day to just be outgoing or sociable, but it really is helpful every now and then to stop and realize when I’ve taken my solitude too far. Once in awhile, it’s good to admit when a lack of human interaction has become more harmful than beneficial.
