I'm an introvert. I always have been and I always will be. I am more outgoing now than I have ever been but being an introvert is still a natural part of my personality. I'm not ashamed to be an introvert. Society tells us that everyone needs to be confident, outspoken, and popular. These three traits are most commonly associated with extroverts, not introverts. However, in my experience, some of the most confident people are introverts. Some of the most convincingly outspoken people are those who don't talk all of the time. And those who have the strongest impact on the most people are those who don't try.

Growing up, I was awkwardly shy. I was the kid who called her mom in the middle of the night at a sleepover. As a got older, I had a difficult time breaking free from my comfort zone and I hated myself for it. If given the choice, I would stay home rather than attend events that I knew many other people would be at. When I did venture out, I prayed that people wouldn't talk to me while at the same time, hating that I stood outside every conversation. When I did speak, every word that came out of my mouth instantly sounded wrong. The charismatic people who were always the life of every party were the ones that I longed to be like but also the ones who I hated the most. In the end, I just hated myself. I hated being an introvert but I also knew that changing that would mean breaking out of the comfort zone which both made me comfortable and trapped me. Sound familiar? If you are an introvert, you can probably relate to me on some level.

When I came to college, I realized that I could start over. Everyone who knew me knew me as the introverted girl who didn't dance at parties and never contributed to conversations unless asked to. However, on move-in day, I was meeting new people who didn't have any idea of who I was before. I could be anyone that I wanted. I could be an extrovert if I wanted to. If I tried hard enough, I could be the confident one, the life of the party, or the name that everyone recognized. However, it didn't take me very long to realize that I was very wrong. I couldn't just change who I am. I'm an introvert and there is nothing wrong with that. The thing that always kept me from dancing at parties and added to conversations was not the fact that I was an introvert; it was my shame of being an introvert.

Once I excepted that I was an introvert and that I would always be an introvert, I gained the most confidence that I have ever had. I cared less about what people thought about me and therefore acted and talked more. I suddenly longed to be around people more while at the same time understood when to take a break from being around them. I learned that it was okay to stay in my room and watch Netflix when I started feelings overwhelmed. I learned that I liked dancing and people didn't judge me for every word that I said. In an odd way, accepting and respecting that I am an introvert somehow made me more confident and outgoing because I was less hard on myself to be someone who I am not. By embracing who I naturally am, I discovered parts of myself that I never knew existed.

I am not longer ashamed to be an introvert. Am I still awkward at times when I am too overwhelmed to carry on a long conversation? Yes! Are there still days that I lock myself in my room because I need a break from interacting with people? Yes! But are there also days that I want to party with my friends and not care what anyone thinks of me or speak up so that others can hear my opinion? Of course! I have learned that being an introvert is not something that you change but that is not a bad thing.