Interviewing My Boyfriend I Met On Tinder

Interviewing My Boyfriend I Met On Tinder

"It was like having the most stressful, yet best job interview of my life."

If you don't know what Tinder is, it's a popular hookup app, used by almost every college student on every campus in the world. You upload a few pictures of yourself, write something funny or witty in a bio, and you can pretty much guarantee yourself a date (or more than that) by the end of the night. If you know what Tinder is, you know that most people who use the app don't want a relationship.

I started using Tinder on Valentine's Day of 2017. I had hundreds of matches within the first few weeks, and I talked to tons of potential friends and partners a lot. Then, I swiped right on a cute boy who was painting benches. Now, nine months later, that cute boy who was painting benches is now my boyfriend.

I got this idea to interview my boyfriend about what he thought of me the first few times we talked, first few dates, impressions from my Tinder profile, and so on. This is what I learned!

Before we dive into the interview, I wanted to introduce my boyfriend. This is Andres (and I), he is 20, and studies at the University of Wisconsin - Milwaukee (Go Panthers), where I study as well. He's a psychology major, with a huge interest in video games, music, sports, and pop culture.

All answers are quotes from the man of the hour!

Question 1: What was your first impression of me, based on my Tinder profile?

"A normal college girl on Tinder, not much else. I didn't really think about it too much. I thought 'this girl is cute,' so I swiped right. She had an interesting profile, so I swiped right."

Question 2: What was your first impression of me, the first time we talked via text?

"That you were really cool and you were good at having a conversation. I really liked that you made as much effort into talking to me, as I did talking to you. It wasn't one-sided and I loved that about you, right off of the bat."

Question 3: What was your first impression of me, the first time we talked on FaceTime?

"Again, you were really cool and fun to talk to. I enjoyed our conversations. You were just a normal girl who I was able to have a conversation with and not feel weird."

Question 4: What did you like the most about me the first time we met, in person?

"Dude, like I just loved talking to you. We were able to bounce back and forth, and I felt like I could make fun of you and we'd been friends for a while. I was super comfortable with you already and that just made the first date so much better."

Question 5: What did you like the least about me the first time we met, in person?

"Huuuh. If I'm being 100% honest, there wasn't anything that I didn't like. In the future, there are aspects of you that I found that didn't like, but at the time, I liked you a lot and I couldn't find many flaws with you, as a person."

Question 6: In your opinion, how did the first date go? Be honest!

"Ugh, f***. I thought it was going really well, but I made the mistake of trying to get at you way too early, so it was definitely 50/50. 50% was great because you were awesome and we liked each other a lot, but 50% was s*** because I made the mistake of coming on too strong and I thought I would scare you off, but apparently I didn't."

Question 7: Did you want a second date after the first? Why or why not?

"Yes, I did, but I wasn't really thinking about that at the time too much. I was more focused on giving you a good first date and kissing you, to be worrying too much about a second date, but yes, after the first one, I definitely did want another one."

Question 8: Did you tell your friends about me? If so, what did you tell them?

"I told my roommate, Cody, because he's a great friend and him and I have had discussions about girls, and he knew I'd been talking to you for a while and I talked to you almost every day, but other than that, I didn't really tell anyone besides him."

Question 9: Did you tell your family about me? If so, what did you tell them?

"I did not tell my family about you until we'd been talking for a month (until it was super serious) and then I just told them 'Hey I'm talking to this pretty girl. Stephanie, just so you know.' I was just updating them on my life and the situation with you."

Question 10: Who did you go to for advice about me and the "we're friends, but more than friends, but we're not dating" stage?

"It was definitely my roommate and another friend I had. I didn't go in depth about the situation, but they pretty much just told me that if I wanted you, I had to do what I had to do and I shouldn't beat around the bush and string you along."

Question 11: When you came back from Florida for Spring Break, on a 1-10 scale, how happy were you to see me and why? (We were away from each other for a week and a half.)

"10, dude. I was so happy. Being as I was on a s****y trip, I was so happy to see you. It wasn't even that I wanted anything sexual, I was just so happy to have you and your positivity around to make me feel better."

Question 12: What did you tell your mom when you finally told her you were talking to a special someone?

"I don't exactly remember. Something along the lines of 'There's this girl Stephanie. She's really pretty, and we're basically dating, but we're not putting a label on things, but yeah, it's going great. I want you to meet her because I know you're going to love her.'"

Question 13: What made you realize/when did you know that you wanted to be in a relationship with me, and why?

"After you met my family because when you first met my family in a small, short time frame, I didn't think much of it, but when you and I had dinner with my mom and dad, I was like 'Holy s***, they like her, I have to make her mine.'"

Question 14: When did you know that you loved me?

"Dude, like after our second date. I tried super hard not to tell you that I loved you and it sucked not saying it because I wanted to say it so bad, but once I said it, it felt so natural and I don't want to stop telling you that until the day I die."

Question 15: Are you happy that we swiped right on each other? Why or why not?

"Oh absolutely. Because you are the coolest, most fun, funniest, most beautiful woman I have ever met. I am so happy that I met you because if I hadn't my life would still feel empty. You're literally like another version of me, except way cooler, funnier, and hotter. You're my best friend, and I have the hardest time being away from you, and if I didn't have you my life would suck."

Final thoughts from Andres:

"This interview was cool. It was like having the most stressful, yet best job interview of my life. It was also the most horrifying thing ever because you were staring me right in the eyes and I felt that if I said something wrong you'd cry. But seriously, everyone should do this with their partners. Even if you didn't meet on Tinder, just change up some of the questions; It's a fun way to express your feelings and it'll make both of you fall in love over again."

From the experience, I say that it definitely brought us closer and he is getting rewarded with one million kisses later on. I would highly recommend doing this with your partner, and even add some questions in! Happy interviewing and Happy New Year, friends!

Cover Image Credit: Stephanie Beay

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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