I think I can speak for many when I say that social media is a great way to stay in the loop, post funny pictures of your friends, and let the world know how you’re feeling within 140 characters. Depending on how you see and use these platforms, they can either be helpful for harmful.
For me,
Instagram is toxic for the sole reason of searching for acceptance and self worth.I search for the approval through my number of “likes.”
Sure numbers can be significant for other reasons, but why does a number below your picture matter? The number of likes matter to me. They matter when my picture gets over 300 likes: I feel liked. Hell, I do my little happy dance. But what have I done for this self-fulfillment? Edited my face until perfection? Posted pictures that show a little more skin then necessary? I’m a girl, I’ve traveled, and I’ve gone to the beach; I have posted pictures of myself in a bikini. Some days, my make up looks so good, my hair has the perfect curl, and my shirt clings tight; I look good and you best believe I document it. But the swimsuit pictures and selfies are not all of who I am.
I’m a genuine, thoughtful, Christ-life seeking girl. A girl who wants to post bible quotes, pictures of nature through her camera lens, motivational captions, and pictures of her brother because she’s so proud. But when I post things like that, I only get 100 likes: I feel unnoticed. I feel disliked. What I’m posting about, what I genuinely care about, isn’t worthy enough for the amount of likes I get on a selfie. Why do likes have to determine value? You ladies who are reading this all know what I’m talking about. Not getting enough likes on a picture you like, can feel pretty dang degrading.
Why is it that everyone focuses on a number? I have over 1,000 followers, but not over 1,000 friends. I have 300 likes on my pictures, but I don’t talk to 300 people a day, I don’t text five. I want to be liked by people, but not for my body, or narcissistic pictures, I want to be liked for who I am besides that: the Honduras lover, nature and photography fanatic, and helping hand.
Yesterday, I posted a more natural looking picture of myself, it felt good to not edit a thing and say, “Hey look, these are my freckles, and I like them!” But, I instantaneously got self-conscious when the likes weren’t rolling in as fast as I expected them too. (I even posted the picture at the right time of day. Yes you know exactly what I’m talking about) I periodically checked over the course of an hour for improvement. The number was so low compared to my normal. The picture that I once felt so naturally confident in, turned into a picture I worried wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, or worth someone’s double click.
I know every girl can relate to this, and even some guys too. But WHY, WHY did I let myself fall into a trap that I’m already so well aware of? HOW do I get out of this mindset that our generational has molded us to, attention for acceptance and value
Maybe I’m crazy and let my experiences of wanting to be good enough effect my social media, and maybe I overthink my posts more than you do, so this might not even apply to you. But maybe you’re like me.
Don’t spend hours staring at your phone trying to decide if you like Ludwig or Valenica better. Don’t classify a picture of being “Instagram worthy” or not. Don’t overstress about getting the perfect picture. You know you’re beautiful because God created you perfectly unique with imperfections so wonderful.
David spoke to the Lord in Psalm 139
"I will praise you;
for I am fearfully and wonderfully made:
marvelous are your works;
and that my soul knows right well."
No one needs to count on an amount of likes for approval
Be strong and be you
Don’t be afraid to post and share what makes you, you. Show your imperfections, who cares, that’s your beautiful self! Care about who you are and not what other people “like” you as or what that number defines you as.
Odds are I’m still going to obsess over my likes, and post a hot pic every once and awhile, so I can’t be a hypocrite and say I don’t care about my likes. But I will not let them define me. It’s never easy to stop caring; just try and care a little less. Our cultural norms within this generation will continue to focus on an amount of likes, and this blog can’t change our whole generation, but it could change you and how you want to define your self worth. Post something you’re passionate about, want to share, or something that you once didn’t think was worthy enough for an Instagram post. Care about your likes when they’re for the right reasons.
If you only get one AHA moment from this, please let it be this:
Change the way in which you see your self worth, because it’s most definitely not definable by a number. You’ll always have one like from God, and that should be enough.
Happy gramming,
Xoxo,
A struggling perfectionist
