I play field hockey for East Stroudsburg University and this past November, we won the Division II National title. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Never could little 11-year-old me who had no idea how to put on her goalie pads imagine that I would one day be able to call myself a national champion of what I love to do. It's not that I didn't have the drive for it--it's just simply a rare thing that you strive for, but can never fully anticipate happening. However, some days I feel like I don't entirely deserve the title. After all, I didn't play a single minute of the game that made us the champions we are today.
As a goalkeeper, there is only one of us on the field at a time for each team. At the college level, and even when I was at the high school level, it seems to be that unless you're the starting goalkeeper, you won't see much time on that field. I came to ESU as a three-year starter for my high school, earning our team's Defensive MVP award twice and other accolades that proved I was a decent keeper. College level of play is a whole new ball game (pun fully intended). Dani, our starting goalkeeper, was more experienced than I was and well-skilled. I love to play with her because she doesn't flaunt her superiority.
A lot of my teammates tell me that I shouldn't feel upset or undeserving, I am as much a part of the team as they are. They're right, I am. But did I give the same amount of effort for the title? At practice, sure I did, I come to practice, give my all and leave tired to the bone every single day. I only played in two games all season, two of which that I had already anticipated getting into. I watched my team battle it out with others from the sidelines the majority of the season.
People ask me every so often, "So, what's it like being a national champion?" I don't really know how to answer. I shrug and reply that I don't feel any different. I'm proud of my team and what we had accomplished this past season, records were broken, history was made. I'm extremely thankful to have been a part of it all. That's my answer: I'm thankful. If it weren't for the coaches recruiting me two years ago, I wouldn't have been given the opportunity. I remember the look on my father's face as I approached him after the awards ceremony and I had stripped out of my gear. He had tears glistening in his eyes and the biggest smile on his face. I think he might have been even happier than I was.
Field hockey has always been one of the biggest parts of my life, I had earned every award and minute I've played but this title, I feel I have yet to earn. We're aiming for another championship this fall season, maybe I'll have a chance to redeem myself.
