How many sayings have you heard about hell? "It's hot as hell," "It's cold as hell," "I'm broke as hell!" My favorite one is one my mother would say whenever I would complain about the heat. "It's hotter in hell!" My question is, how do you know? Because right now, it feels like we're already here.

Don't get me wrong; I'm grateful to not be freezing my limbs off, but it'd also be nice to not have the sun sitting on the edge of my bed or as a passenger in my car, which has no AC just so you know.

At home, we have the AC blowing as hard as ever and I still wake up sweating sometimes. I have a mini praise break when I'm allowed to use my mom's car because it has air conditioning, and I love not feeling my butt cheeks being glued together by a film of sweat.

Yes, yes, I know. Drink lots of water, and stay in shaded areas. That is a bit difficult for me considering my water is a few degrees away from reaching boiling temperature by nine o'clock that morning on my way to work. And the water I have managed to inhale down is sweated out onto my shirt.

Its almost 90 degrees and it isn't even noon, and that's not even the highest peak of the day. Its hot, and when I finally arrive home, I take my bottled lava and throw it in the freezer for the next day. I pry off my clothes and turn my fan on high and relax on my bed. I'm usually tired, but unsure if I'm falling asleep or just going into unconsciousness.

Picture this: I have my auxiliary cord plugged in, my music blasting with my windows down. I was cruising down the interstate enjoying the hot hair blowing on my face. I mean, at this point, any breeze is a good one to me. I'm doing about 65 down the interstate and then, it happened.

I thought it was some sort of vengeful bug that took a bite out of my thigh. Trying to remain focused on the road, I swipe at the fictitious irritant only to realize, it's only the burning of my thigh, cooking in the afternoon sun again.

There are really only two things that cause me to have goosebumps and that is good music and cold weather and so far, this music just isn't cutting it.

Like a vampire, I fear the sun. As it shines down, I swear I can feel its rays draining my energy, as I fry like a cracked egg on the sidewalk. I don't recall ever having a migraine, but sometimes being in the heat causes me to have a pain in my head that is a cross between making me want to vomit and faint, all at the same time.

I use my thick curtains to block the round fire devil from peeking into my room and even keep my fan at its steady, fast pace. But for some odd reason, I still wet the bed, with my sweat. I'm burning up, almost literally and out of all the sayings about hell, "It's hot as hell" suits my fancy right about now.