The longest moment of your life is when you are expectantly waiting on someone to answer a question you've asked them about your relationship. Everyone thinks the worst answer could be a denial, but the reality is that the worst answer is the indecisive one. The "I don't really know what I want right now" answer.
I came to this conclusion during a dramatic Facetime reading of "To The Guy Trying To Decide If He Wants Her." My best friend stumbled across this article that encapsulated her current romantic situation. When she got to the line "You don't let her go because you do care for her, but you're on the fence when it comes to how much." I rudely interrupted my best friend by exclaiming "NO! Indecision IS his decision." (I really was not a fan of this man-child in her life.)
And that's when it hit me: that is true for absolutely everything in life. If you can't decide whether or not something is worth it, it probably isn't to you. Because when you care about something, be it a person, a career goal, or even yourself you find a way to make it happen; even if it doesn't fit into your current situation, you make it work.
People throw out the "I'm not really looking for anything, but I like what this is," or the "I'm really focusing on myself, I don't want you to feel neglected" because they like the convenience of having someone in their life with whom they have chemistry. They like that they have a go-to person to text when they're feeling lonely, or someone to warm their bed when the desire strikes. But in not making a decision one way or another they are telling you loud and clear that they don't care enough about you to say yes, they just don't want to lose the convenient factor by outright saying no.
I'm not saying things don't develop because I know of incredible relationships that have been born from friendship, or from casual dating and talking that slowly became more serious. But a serial flake is a red flag. They don't commit to plans, or they commit and then bail the day of, or just don't reply to texts while you're trying to solidify the tentative plans. Rather than say "Hey I just don't really feel like hanging out today," they go ghost. This person doesn't even respect you enough to truthfully explain that they're not interested. In some ways, I think this is worse than an outright rejection.
The cowardice of our generation and the abhorrence to conflict is slowly killing what little honesty was left in the dating game. People think Ghosting is an appropriate way to end contact with someone. Whether it was a one-night thing or a relationship, you should have the decency to explain to someone that you don't see a future with them, you don't see your interaction lasting beyond a physical sense, or you just don't feel the same way about them.
You don't need to be cruel, but explaining your feelings is never something you should be afraid of. Rejection happens. Rejecting someone doesn't make you a bad person, but stringing someone along knowing there is no place for them in your future does.
If someone says "I don't know," recognize that their inability to make a decision means they don't care enough about whatever it is to say yes. They may care, but not enough to commit to it. Don't sit around and wait on someone who doesn't know if they want to spend time with you, waiting for them will be like waiting for rain in a drought, useless and disappointing.
