I just embarked on a four month abroad experience, for which I feel incredibly lucky. There is so much going on - so many new faces, iconic sights, and a new routine to get into. One of my friends wanted to get dinner across town, and I said I’d meet her there. I told her I would walk over - this is partially because I wanted to take a walk, and partially because I didn’t have the energy to figure out the bus system. It was a forty-minute walk, and I figured why not get my steps in?

About twenty minutes in, I wondered if I would see someone in my program on my way there. I wondered if they would think it’s weird that I’m alone. Why am I not with one of the many, many people in my dorm? Could I not make friends? I then thought of the first month of my college experience.

I did every single activity with someone. Going to breakfast, lunch, and dinner with someone else. Working out with my roommate. Walking to Main Campus with someone else. Getting something printed with someone I just met in class.

I always felt the need to be with someone, and to be seen with someone. When you enter a new situation, like starting at camp or going to your first day at school, it’s essential to make friends. It’s so important that we, as humans, have that companionship and communication. It makes us feel that we belong. It helps us stay away from that icky feeling of homesickness. And yet, it’s been proven that it is good for us to have that alone time. Why?

Self-exploration!

There’s something called “productive solitude” which is essentially when we spend time alone. It’s the idea that when we’re alone, we can do the deep processing of self-exploration, which can often be a difficult task. Whether it be alone in the middle of a forest or smack in the center of a major city, it’s difficult to be alone. Being alone with our thoughts make us reconnect to potentially painful or traumatic experiences we rather keep out of our heads. We dwell on that one weird thing we said to that cool girl in passing. We think about that joke we told in class that didn’t land well. We reevaluate our past relationships and breakups (was it really him or was it me? I wonder what he’s like now…).

So in our hyperconnected society, it seems difficult to spend time alone. If we go on a walk around town by ourselves, but we’re looking at our Snapchat the entire time, are we really alone? Is it possible for Millennials to be truly alone, and to be okay with it?

There are some prerequisites for this solitude to truly be productive. One must make the decision to be alone, rather than finding him or herself with no one to be with. One must be able to recognize and manage his or her emotions. Productive solitude isn’t being lonely, and it’s not a lack of ability to make social contact. It’s the decision to remove yourself from the constant interactions with have with friends, family, social-media, homework, jobs, and other commitments.

There are psychological, emotional, and spiritual benefits to being alone, and yet we’re scared of it. Is it insecurity? Is it our new norm? Is it our constant attachment to technology and social media? Probably a combination of all of the above.

We all have predicaments in this life. Some feel like existential-crisis, and some may be the question of if we should go out or not. If we rely on other people for these answers, it may be hard to find those answers we know to be true in our guts.

It’s not the walk that gives us those answers to our questions. Taking a camping trip isn’t what tells us what we should be doing with our lives. We, ourselves have the answers. Sometimes we just have to take more time to listen.