The term ghosting, as stated by Urban Dictionary, refers to “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.” Ghosting can branch out to any type of relationship, friendship, coworkers, or family included. This act has increased over the years as means of communications make it easier for less in-person discussions.
Currently, we have iPhone and computers that we are constantly giving and receiving out information to others. Some may say that this can cause a negative impact, that responsibility of talking to some in person and seeing how they react is different than through text. That emotional connection can be altered.
The reason people ghost can be due to not wanting to confront the person, trying to leave an abusive or negative relationship, or naturally parting ways. This can leave you wondering what you did wrong though or on the other end escaping responsivity of your actions. You can sit there wondering for days and not receive any closure as to what happened. You can become obsessive with the situation, checking their Instagram or Snapchat location. Having them there on social media still seeing everything they're doing but not responding to you can make you feel worse because they’re still in your life.
Not all ghosting is bad, it can be the right thing to do if someone is making you uncomfortable or you need to end a relationship immediately for your mental health. There are abusive people who can try to gaslight you into thinking they’ve done nothing wrong. Your safety is the most important, and sometimes unexpectedly disappearing from the abuser is the safest action.
I feel that the level of the relationship and communication also determines how bad the ghosting can be. I have heard stories of people getting engaged and living together and then one day one of them leaves without a word, but then sometimes it's just that first tinder date that didn’t go well. Don’t get me wrong, I have ghosted people before that have made me uncomfortable, but I have always tried to my best to look in the other persons' perspective and talk to them when issues do arise in our relationship. Ghosting shows a poor lack of communication skills and accountability. You grow as a person if you go through moments of accountability and fixing issues when you’ve been in the wrong.
Beginning and keeping a relationship is a lot of work, commitment and time sometimes. It takes listening to the other person needs, understanding boundaries, and confrontation at times. The hard work is worth it in the end when you get to share moments with people in your life that matter. And I get you’re not going to vibe with everyone you meet in your life, but everyone does deserve respect. So be more considerate of others, you don’t have to send them a long letter of why its not working out, but a small text might help.
