About a month ago I went through my first real breakup.
I'm a girl in high school, so it probably doesn't come as much of a surprise that my relationship only lasted a few months, but in all honesty, I thought things were going pretty well.
We really fit with each other, so when things ended I was devastated, and quite frankly surprised. Sure, we'd both been busy and not talking as often as we did in the beginning, especially since we went to two different schools and both participated in extracurriculars. Despite the difficulties, we still made sure to at least send a few texts everyday, and try to make plans whenever possible, but this just wasn't cutting it.
The first week after my breakup was definitely rough, but with support from close friends and family, I'm pulling through. I'm starting to see now that I depended on a relationship. Without having someone to text as soon as I get news, good or bad, I'm realizing how much of my life was consumed by another person.
This definitely isn't a bad thing if you're happy, which I was, but it's very eye-opening to see the difference in your life after someone you spent a lot of time talking to leaves.
After hearing about my breakup. a lot of people jumped right to the, "there's other fish in the sea," motivation speech, but that's truly not what I want right now. I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, so I don't need to find someone new as soon as soon as I'm single. I'm going to use the next few months before I leave for college as some self discovery time.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with focusing on yourself for a little bit, and that's exactly what I plan to do, because in all reality, I am only sixteen. I have so much time to find someone I want to be with for the rest of my life.
Opposed to high school, college is a much better time and place to meet someone. There's just a lot more variety, and more chances of meeting someone who "clicks" with you. If I somehow find someone who I can truly see myself with before college, I will pursue a relationship with them, but at the moment, I don't plan to go out of my way looking for someone.
Some people find themselves completely lost when they aren't dating someone, and I don't want to be one of those people. I want to be a person on my own and truly discover the entirety of myself, so that when I am ready for a serious relationship, I won't try to change myself just to please the other person. If you're with someone who tries to change you all the time, they probably aren't the greatest fit for you.
I've recently learned that it's important to be true to yourself despite what others tell you. A real relationship is one that you are comfortable being yourself in, one where you are happy, and one where you feel genuinely accepted.
When I grow up and meet the person I'm going to spend my life with, I want to be happy, and to do so I need to understand life without a significant other so that I'm truly able to appreciate my life with one.
