You are a lot of things. You’re an ear to ear grin with bright teeth showing, a sassy comment in the middle of a serious conversation, a sideways look and a laugh while listening to music in your car. You’re also furrowed eyebrows and dark eyes dialed in on anyone who crosses you, a bitter fight in the early hours, shaky hands and the widest doe eyes following the onset of your anxiety towards the unknown. You’re not perfect, but you’re my soulmate. You have and will make bad decisions, but that’s okay. I’ll let you down, too. But I guarantee you plenty of love. I promise to never give up on you, because I have decided to give you everything, and I’m not scared.
I’m not scared to give you everything because I know that we’re both human. We’re not flawless, we’re not going to always do or say the right things. Life isn’t an episode of Gossip Girl. Life is a kaleidoscope of admirable memories flecked with learning experiences and mistakes, and that’s what makes it so easy to give you every bit of myself that I have. We can learn together and gain memories to together.
I'm not scared because I know that even if it doesn't work out, I'll have gained more understanding of another person. I'll have given someone all of the small pieces that belong to me, and I'll know that I tried my best. I know I sound crazy. But honestly, what else is a better alternative? Stay closed off and keep every part of my soul to myself? As significant others, and even more so as humans, we need to stop pushing the people we love away. We are with them for a reason—to give them the care and love that they deserve. How are we supposed to do that if we’re so scared that we’ll hurt ourselves that we stand back and keep our souls separate? We need to stop being so selfish with ourselves in this regard. Our souls are meant to be shared with others; they are meant to cross and bond and teach each other.
I’m not scared to give you everything because I know that you will give me so much love in return. I know that you’ll make me a priority. When you show up at my door, I still feel breathless. Sometimes you’re not soft with your words. Sometimes it’s tough love between us. But you always make the world feel less heavy on my shoulders. Taking me up into your arms, you make me feel like I can be anything, like I can do anything.When I met you, my soul became calm and I felt like I knew you right away. It was like you were already a piece of me.
I’m not scared because I know that we are our own people. I’m not dependent on you and vice versa, because we both know that we have our own goals, and our own ideas and beliefs. But these things overlap and bring us together in so many aspects. I know I can give you every piece of me because I know that you will take my beliefs gingerly, but always be up for a debate. You share my ideals and you give me perspective.
I’m not saying I can’t be my own person. I’m just saying that it’s crazy to hold back all of the love I harbor for someone. It’s insane to hold them at an arm's length, to be calculating and always keep a small piece of myself away from them. I love them, they love me. We’re human, we’re here in the end to find our way. Giving you my everything, my love, my burdens, my care, my best and worst days and having yours in return--that’s worth more to me than playing it safe in life.
