I Don't Need To Be "Completed"
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Relationships

I Don't Need To Be "Completed"

I'm not waiting for someone else to validate my worth.

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I Don't Need To Be "Completed"
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It scares me to think that so many people out there are waiting around for someone to come along and “complete” them. Since when has any human being ever been only half of a person? Since when did we as humans start defining ourselves based on the person that we choose to be our significant other?

I know without a doubt that I am a whole, authentic person with goals, dreams and a personality all of my own. I’m not going to waste time looking for someone to validate my worth or to make me feel like I am capable of anything, simply because I have that person by my side. No, I am capable of anything because I am an independent person with a drive to accomplish all of the things that I envision for myself in my head. I’m not willing to invest all of my time, all of my energy and all of my passion for life into a “significant other”. If your partner is the one you are truly meant to be with, they shouldn’t need you to constantly remind them that they are a significant member of your life. They shouldn’t ask you to devote all of your happiness and all of your love to them solely. They should understand that the most important part of loving someone else is allowing them to maintain their own freedom and their own life, especially those areas that do not involve their significant others.

Oscar Wilde once said, “I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” Let’s face it, it’s hardly likely that you will only have one significant other over the course of your entire life. This is not to say that there is no such thing as the one person who is right for you, the person that you are meant to be with, but it is highly unlikely that there will only be one person that you meet that you will consider spending the rest of your life with. In reality, you will probably have relationships with a few people, some of whom you may have even envisioned a future with at some point during the relationship. It would be completely unfair to yourself to allow for each of these people who came into your life to define who you are or who you were as a person. I’m a huge advocate for the idea that all relationships should be about give and take, be it a platonic or romantic relationship. A significant other should never come into your life and start asking you to change everything about yourself: your appearance, your values, your life goals, your career choice. You are your own person and no one has the right to question that.

Giving myself the gift of “me, myself and I” time over the course of my life has allowed me to come to terms with how I want to live my life. I want to be adventurous, to try new things, to be open-minded, to learn something new every single day, to meet new people, to be myself. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and to be so confident in myself and in what I stand for, that I will never need someone else to remind me of my own worth. When it comes down to it, people move in and out of your life at such a fast pace, that it would be silly to allow their opinions to define you. Never allow for someone else’s presence in your life to cause you to lose sight of yourself.

No, I was not created to complete someone else and there is no one out there who was created to complete me. I refuse to pursue a search for my “other half” because I sure as hell am not half of anything. I am whole. I am complete. I am me, in my own entirety and I plan to remain a whole, complete person for the rest of my life, regardless of who stands beside me or who doesn’t. I believe in love and I believe in companionship, and heck, I even believe that there is someone out there for everyone, even those of us who have sworn off love. But there is not one single person out there who holds enough power or control over me to make me sacrifice everything that I value and everything that I have worked for in my life. Because love is not control and love is not power. Love is love and when you find it, when you find something that is imperfectly real, you will know it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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"Many have asked me for clarity on the phrase, "reckless love". Many have wondered why I'd use a "negative" word to describe God. I've taken some time to write out my thoughts here. I hope it brings answers to your questions. But more than that, I hope it brings you into an encounter with the wildness of His love.When I use the phrase, "the reckless love of God", I'm not saying that God Himself is reckless. I am, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so. What I mean is this: He is utterly unconcerned with the consequences of His actions with regards to His own safety, comfort, and well-being. His love isn't crafty or slick. It's not cunning or shrewd. In fact, all things considered, it's quite childlike, and might I even suggest, sometimes downright ridiculous. His love bankrupted heaven for you. His love doesn't consider Himself first. His love isn't selfish or self-serving. He doesn't wonder what He'll gain or lose by putting Himself out there. He simply gives Himself away on the off-chance that one of us might look back at Him and offer ourselves in return.His love leaves the ninety-nine to find the one every time."
Some people are arguing that song is biblical because it makes reference to the scripture from Matthew 28:12-14 and Luke 15. Both of these scriptures talk about the parable of the lost sheep and the shepherd. The shepherd symbolizes God and the lost sheep are people that do not have a relationship with God. On the other hand some people are arguing that using the term reckless, referring to God's character is heretical and not biblical. I found two articles that discuss the controversy about the song.The first article is called, "Reckless Love" By Cory Asbury - "Song Meaning, Review, and Worship Leading Tips." The writer of the article, Jake Gosselin argues that people are "Making a mountain out of a molehill" and that the argument is foolish. The second article, "God's Love is not Reckless, Contrary to What You Might Sing" by author Andrew Gabriel argues that using the term reckless is irresponsible and that you cannot separate Gods character traits from God himself. For example, saying that God's love is reckless could also be argued that God himself is reckless. Reckless is typically not a word that someone would use to describe God and his love for us. The term reckless is defined as (of a person or their actions) without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action. However, Cory Asbury is not talking about a person, he is talking about God's passionate and relentless pursuit of the lost. While I would not have chosen the word reckless, I understand what he was trying to communicate through the song. Down below I have linked two articles that might be helpful if you are interested in reading more about the controversy.


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