It scares me to think that so many people out there are waiting around for someone to come along and “complete” them. Since when has any human being ever been only half of a person? Since when did we as humans start defining ourselves based on the person that we choose to be our significant other?
I know without a doubt that I am a whole, authentic person with goals, dreams and a personality all of my own. I’m not going to waste time looking for someone to validate my worth or to make me feel like I am capable of anything, simply because I have that person by my side. No, I am capable of anything because I am an independent person with a drive to accomplish all of the things that I envision for myself in my head. I’m not willing to invest all of my time, all of my energy and all of my passion for life into a “significant other”. If your partner is the one you are truly meant to be with, they shouldn’t need you to constantly remind them that they are a significant member of your life. They shouldn’t ask you to devote all of your happiness and all of your love to them solely. They should understand that the most important part of loving someone else is allowing them to maintain their own freedom and their own life, especially those areas that do not involve their significant others.
Oscar Wilde once said, “I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.” Let’s face it, it’s hardly likely that you will only have one significant other over the course of your entire life. This is not to say that there is no such thing as the one person who is right for you, the person that you are meant to be with, but it is highly unlikely that there will only be one person that you meet that you will consider spending the rest of your life with. In reality, you will probably have relationships with a few people, some of whom you may have even envisioned a future with at some point during the relationship. It would be completely unfair to yourself to allow for each of these people who came into your life to define who you are or who you were as a person. I’m a huge advocate for the idea that all relationships should be about give and take, be it a platonic or romantic relationship. A significant other should never come into your life and start asking you to change everything about yourself: your appearance, your values, your life goals, your career choice. You are your own person and no one has the right to question that.
Giving myself the gift of “me, myself and I” time over the course of my life has allowed me to come to terms with how I want to live my life. I want to be adventurous, to try new things, to be open-minded, to learn something new every single day, to meet new people, to be myself. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin and to be so confident in myself and in what I stand for, that I will never need someone else to remind me of my own worth. When it comes down to it, people move in and out of your life at such a fast pace, that it would be silly to allow their opinions to define you. Never allow for someone else’s presence in your life to cause you to lose sight of yourself.
No, I was not created to complete someone else and there is no one out there who was created to complete me. I refuse to pursue a search for my “other half” because I sure as hell am not half of anything. I am whole. I am complete. I am me, in my own entirety and I plan to remain a whole, complete person for the rest of my life, regardless of who stands beside me or who doesn’t. I believe in love and I believe in companionship, and heck, I even believe that there is someone out there for everyone, even those of us who have sworn off love. But there is not one single person out there who holds enough power or control over me to make me sacrifice everything that I value and everything that I have worked for in my life. Because love is not control and love is not power. Love is love and when you find it, when you find something that is imperfectly real, you will know it.