I'm completely 100% obsessed with myself and that may sound, well, selfish. I'm not selfish though. Actually, I spend so much of my day worried about my family and what my friends are going through. I just want everyone to be happy and I want to be happy. I spend a lot of my time making sure everyone's lives are going smoothly but my main concern is mine. I would take a bullet for a lot of people but I will spend every waking moment obsessed with anxiety over how my life is going.
I'm obsessed with how much money college is costing my family.
I am obsessed with how I can't seem to lose weight.
I am obsessed with why my family is adjusting to living oversees.
I am obsessed with making sure my best friends are happy.
I am obsessed with wine.
& I am obsessed with making sure my life is going well.
Obviously, I have a lot of things to be blessed for. I mean how many people can say they have wine in their life (I joke..I joke). I do I have some amazing blessing that I wouldn't trade for the world but that doesn't mean that they fulfill all my needs.
I get worried that certain people or certain relationships are actually bad for my health. I look up new home decor and new clothes like my life depended on it. I spend hours on Indeed looking for a job to pay my rent. I panic when I wait too long to eat and I start to feel lightheaded or if I ate too much that day. I worry about myself all day long. I know we should be unselfish but maybe it isn't a bad thing. All I am doing is taking care of the one person I spend all my time with, me. I don't think that I neglect my family, friends, and boyfriend by doing so. I actually think it's good. We should always strive for our best selves because if we aren't happy with ourselves that how can we connect with anyone.
“If you let people’s perception of you dictate your behavior, you’ll never grow as a person.” -Mr. Feeny (Boy Meets World)
Don't care about what others think but care about what you think. You have to wake up every day and look yourself in the mirror. You have to live with your soul and your decisions. Work on that relationship and the others will be easy. Write in a diary. Go over all your decisions. Eliminate the people that bring you down. Connect with what you want. Go out and give them hell. Be obsessed with yourself. Love yourself. Be yourself.
"Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?" -Fanny Brice.
