There is a time in life when you are 12 years old, and you're watching a movie where two people fall madly in love, and you sit there day dreaming thinking, "By the time I am 22, I will be in love and married." Then what seems to be ten minutes later, you're Twenty years old and still can not decide if you want to sleep with both feet under the blankets or just one. Weird how that works, right? Maybe if I had not have had an "attitude" with him, or gave that other guy a chance, I would be achieving childhood goals, but in all honesty, I'm happy I said no.
So here's to you, 22-year-old me, this is why I am not sorry that I said no this dream.
I am happy with where I am in life. I can spend all my time on my studies and not have to worry about another person being in the picture. Yes, I will always support my friends, but there in nothing better than some freedom when it comes to relying on just yourself to make sure your accomplish all that you have planned.
I am not afraid to go out and do the things that I want, because there is no one holding me back from doing so. I do not have to check to make sure that if I want to go to a concert with some friends, that my partner is okay with that choice. I also am granted the ability to be quote-on-quote "one of the guys" still, because it is just not weird when you're single.
I do not have to worry about making sure that I remember not only dates that take place in my life, but also dates and events that are important to you, such as birthdays, work schedules, etc. I am learning to love myself while I am single, because If I cannot love me, why would someone else? This I feel is a crucial thing, because if you can not see any good in yourself, then it would be almost impossible for someone to break that wall down and see who you truly are. If you cannot deal with me being 5'1" with a 6'2" attitude, then you clearly are not the one for me.
I can eat as much as I want, when I want, wherever I want. Oh, it's 3 a.m. and I want Taco Bell? You better believe that I am going to get up and go to Taco Bell, because there is nothing from stopping me to do so. I am allowed to be independent, because I am the only variable in this equation.
So yes, as much as twelve year old me would have loved to be in love, or be happily with someone in the next few years, twenty year old me (almost) has realized that is not going to be the situation. I am not sorry that I said no to all of those guys before, because it has helped me shape myself into the independent, self-loving person that I am today.
