You read that title right. I’m not dating anyone, but I am in a relationship. How does that work exactly? Let me break it down for you.

I am single. I do not have a boyfriend. I’m not married (obviously!). And I may or may not have a crush on someone, but that’s beside the point. I am single, but I am in a relationship.

Is that confusing for you? That’s understandable, it’s a confusing, contradictory statement, but believe me I am a relationship. With who? Well, myself of course.

Over the past year, I’ve been on dates and even had two boyfriends, but those boys came and went as fast as I could say “I like you.” And I could spend months and months harping over those boys and how much they hurt me and blah blah blah, but no. I’m choosing to move on and date someone who I know actually likes me, and that person is me.

I’m choosing to date myself. Why? Because the hook up culture is a thing and it’s living and breathing everywhere I look. Because the guys I’ve been on dates with in the past showed me that I need to love myself enough to know I deserve better.

Who better to date than myself? I can get to know myself in different ways. I can treat myself to dates without wondering if it’s going to go anywhere past the first date. I don’t have to worry about what my boyfriend is doing when he’s not texting me back quickly enough, because let’s be honest ladies, we all do it! (And probably even the guys do it too!)

Choosing to date myself is what I think is necessary for me to grow and move on. I’ve been through a lot in my life and in the past year. I’ve felt things more deeply than ever before, so when I get hurt, I get hurt hard. This time I’m taking to date myself will not only heal me, but it will help me move on and love myself on a deeper level.

Am I opposed to being asked out on a date or two? No not at all. If a guy comes along and wants to take me out and get to know me, that’s awesome, but he’ll have to know that I am dating myself first and I am putting myself first. I’ve put so many guys on this pedestal and tried to make them happy while making myself miserable in the process, so it’s time for me to be a little selfish and take care of myself too. It’s time for me to sit on top of the pedestal and find what makes me happy.

I’m in a relationship with myself. And I am going to learn how to love myself through all the hurt, the pain, the imperfections and the craziness of life. I am committed to growing and learning during this time and ultimately getting closer to who I want to be as a person. I also want to learn to accept my flaws and embrace them and I am going to change the things I can change. I've already started the process of losing weight. I've gotten my ears pierced. And I just got my hair cut and dyed. I am not trying to change myself completely, but just trying to improve myself; physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I want to be the best person I can be and I am going to be in a lifelong relationship with myself whether I have a boyfriend or not. I’m going to love myself for the rest of my life. I am in a relationship, but I’m not dating anyone.