Hi, dude.
At this point you probably know who I am, at least from my big's instagram posts and possibly what she says about me. If you don't know who I am then you're irrelevant until you can figure out who I am.
So word on the street says you're interested in my big. Congrats. She's really great. I like her a lot, and I would 10/10 recommend sticking around. But you need to keep something in mind: If you want to date my big, you have to date me, too.
I'm gonna go ahead and elaborate on this because it sounds a whole lot creepier than it actually is. This isn't like when a dad sends his daughter on a date and tells the guy, "whatever you do to my daughter, I'll do to you" because that'd be so weird.
What I mean is that you have chosen to date the person who is one of my persons. She's the one I call when I embarrass myself and she's the one I steal clothes from and she's the girl that'll be in my wedding someday. So this means quite a few things for you if you date her.
It means that you'll also have to listen to me talk about stuff that happened in my day and explain in detail why that was a big deal.
It means that sometimes I'll force my way into your dates because I need time with her, too.
Her room is a neutral area. It's fair game for both of us. So if I show up while you're there, I will feel no shame in standing there and having a conversation with her despite the fact that you were there first.
I won't be around all the time, but I will absolutely make jokes about you when you are around, so you'll just have to deal with it.
In all honesty, you get to vicariously date me through my big. Because we are in a long term relationship and you are just kind of a part of it too. Proud of you.
She's great, and I know that. That's why I wanted her, and I get why you want her too. Treat her well, because she deserves the best.
I don't care who you are, I don't care when you show up. If it's next week, great. If it's five years down the road, this still stands. Don't forget about me because I am always gonna be around, so you might as well get used to dating me too.
